Sunday, July 20, 2014

Bittersweet

Bittersweet


You don a bitter orange peel cloak.

Tangy lemon tingles tart on my tongue.

I scoop the grapefruit quarter sans sugar

And smart at the startling sour.

Acerbic is what you’re offering.


No fruit-shaped confections ladled with fructose

Nor strawberries smothered in unctuous chocolate.

I scour the bland baskets with scorn

While dreaming of syrup-dripped candy.

Bittersweet is what you’re offering.


Sneakin’ down the street for satisfaction.

Praying to Virgin Mary for my sins.

I scoop the saccharine confections.

Savoring that sickeningly sweet thrill.

Anything, but what you’re offering.


And I wait for judgment’s final wrath. 


- Theresa Milstein






50 comments:

  1. What a clever take on this Mag - it set my mouth watering in sympathy. :-)

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  2. Strong repetition. Anything, but what you're offering...

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  3. There is a bitter sweetness to this I like very much.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks, Alex. Also, I appreciate you letting me know about Sharknado 2. ;)

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  5. Rather powerfully written; well done.

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  6. sweet is toxic i read somewhere... oh i wish i dint have a sweet tooth myself... its too much selfrestrain!! :)

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  7. Bittersweet indeed. Your described look of scorn hits home--for not finding the sweet reward.

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    1. Slamdunk, if it's not at home, temptations are everywhere....

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  8. Very powerful. Great job! Takes a true talent to pull this prose off well.

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  9. Bitter-sweet goodness. A basket of health.

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  10. I especially like the line "anything but what you're offering", because that one in particular told me a lot about the narrator's relationship with the other person.

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    1. Thanks for the feedback, Neurotic Workaholic. I'm glad that line had the intended impact.

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  11. Bittersweet indeed....a brilliant response to the prompt Theresa!

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  12. Well done! Reading this actually made my mouth water (I guess my brain got the message about the tart and sour flavors). :)
    ~Jess

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  13. I remember my friend from childhood going through Lint and giving up sweets. She never lasted long either, especially when she came to play at my house.

    -Kelly @ www.kellydelvalle.net/poetry

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    1. Kelly, I wonder if my subconscious was thinking about Lent.

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  14. Amazing poem, Theresa.

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  15. Hi Theresa .. you've taken to these like a magpie to thuggery - well that's what I associate ours with - they kill things! But these poems are great .. well done .. love them ..

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. Thanks so much, Hilary. I look at them almost every week, but I often can't think of a poem or don't have a poem sitting around that fits. The last few times have worked out.

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    2. Hi Theresa .. it was a google image I found, which seemed to fit the bill .. so I added it in .. I'll try and answer your son's Greek blues .. not the next post - but anon ... I need to get to London again! Cheers Hilary

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    3. Thanks for the info, Hilary! If you do A to Z next year, maybe consider a color theme. I found your post so interesting.

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  16. "And I wait for judgment’s final wrath."
    No way, not for that!
    You didn't even steal an apple!!
    Loved the poem and all the analogies it may generate.
    Beautifully done ~ Eddie :)

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    1. Thank you, Eddie! I guess it depends on what we decide is a sin.

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  17. Clever metaphor, and well worked out.

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  18. Goodness, Theresa. Deep thoughts. Deep. I'm not sure I was ready for something so deep today. Pondering...

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    1. Crystal, didn't mean to be so deep. ;)

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    2. LOL. It's good for us. Never apologize for making someone think, eh?

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  19. Beautifully done. Now I'm craving dessert!

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  20. I love the word usage here. I could "taste" every citrusy bite! There were times my mouth turned at the thought of the citric acid. Very bittersweet. Well done :) ~ Jen

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  21. Michael, my poem sure took you in a different direction!

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  22. Lots of tang in this one, Theresa! Good job.

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  23. Ooh, you've been posting poems and I've been missing them! Thanks for sharing these, Theresa. Love your imagery.

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