tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post3675811843642800128..comments2024-03-25T22:38:39.934-07:00Comments on THERESA'S TALES: Most Improved PlayerTheresa Milsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-73989463885553338062010-05-27T09:09:10.133-07:002010-05-27T09:09:10.133-07:00Missed Periods, you're right. I had to start ...Missed Periods, you're right. I had to start somewhere with very little knowledge about the craft of writing.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-25692578388856779582010-05-27T08:26:38.713-07:002010-05-27T08:26:38.713-07:00It was fun to read the first draft compared to the...It was fun to read the first draft compared to the second. The second one really is wonderful. But, the first one was necessary too, don't you think?Missed Periodshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10343265071637032284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-57983414882396548272010-05-27T03:13:57.628-07:002010-05-27T03:13:57.628-07:00Portia, thank you for the good writing vibes!
Ann...Portia, thank you for the good writing vibes!<br /><br />Ann, thank you!<br /><br />India, thanks for the suggestion. I think one of the critiquers recommended a similar change. I'll look at your idea along with theirs.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-52536077943789969402010-05-27T03:10:56.504-07:002010-05-27T03:10:56.504-07:00Elle Strauss, thank you!
Susan Fields, thanks. I...Elle Strauss, thank you!<br /><br />Susan Fields, thanks. I'm excited!<br /><br />Bossy Betty, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm freaking everyone out a little.<br /><br />Shannon, I'm glad it grabbed your attention. As you can tell from my first attempt, I had NO idea how to do that four years ago.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-79166581343376150182010-05-27T03:07:17.139-07:002010-05-27T03:07:17.139-07:00Jemi, it's good to hear you've learned a l...Jemi, it's good to hear you've learned a lot this year.<br /><br />Mariblaser, I liked Olive's guest post on your blog. <br /><br />Thanks for the nice words and wishes.<br /><br />Sandy Shin, sorry about the visceral pains! Glad you liked the excerpt.<br /><br />Aubrie, it's hard to tell from the excerpt but it's going to be fantasy. <br /><br />You must've come a long way too because I saw a lot of show in your WIP.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-91923077354414347272010-05-27T02:33:00.739-07:002010-05-27T02:33:00.739-07:00I love your opening. One suggestion though:
>&...I love your opening. One suggestion though:<br /><br />>> You know how adults are always warning children not to run with scissors because they could lose an eye and to stop tipping back their chairs back because they could crack open their skulls? I’ve never cracked open my skull from tipping back a desk chair, but three years ago, I ran with scissors and lost an eye. <<<br /><br />Delete the "You know?" sentence and justy start with "I've never". The question doesn't need to be asked (because you know the answer) and so there's a lot more impact if you just state the situation.India Drummondhttp://www.indiadrummond.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-50381018764527115322010-05-27T02:29:18.983-07:002010-05-27T02:29:18.983-07:00Wonderful Theresa! Attention grabbing!Wonderful Theresa! Attention grabbing!Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524878248746427258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-53373178526849769432010-05-27T02:14:08.471-07:002010-05-27T02:14:08.471-07:00How fun to see your writing grow! I agree, Naked E...How fun to see your writing grow! I agree, Naked Eye is very compelling. Sending good writing vibes your way :-)Portiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-30577602291379846312010-05-26T21:44:57.906-07:002010-05-26T21:44:57.906-07:00Wow, what a difference! I love the first paragraph...Wow, what a difference! I love the first paragraph in the revision. It grabbed (and held) my attention. And eep! well done!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11640509596922335617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-59908242580654032132010-05-26T21:19:46.680-07:002010-05-26T21:19:46.680-07:00owwwwwwwwww!!!! I love this!owwwwwwwwww!!!! I love this!Bossy Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12568355839499622409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-23704979838094962342010-05-26T19:40:00.812-07:002010-05-26T19:40:00.812-07:00Yes, another journey begins - isn't it excitin...Yes, another journey begins - isn't it exciting? Good luck!Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-42141925496387465372010-05-26T19:33:14.577-07:002010-05-26T19:33:14.577-07:00Your new and improved opening is incredible! loved...Your new and improved opening is incredible! loved it!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09687047513163296827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-84463490310951828752010-05-26T19:12:48.387-07:002010-05-26T19:12:48.387-07:00The scissor thing really caught my attention! I ne...The scissor thing really caught my attention! I need to know why? how? an eye, really? <br /><br />It's taken me so long to distinguish between show and tell. Now I can finally catch myself at times. You're doing great at it, and the second excerpt is def better.Aubriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884036126491922530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-5936527297372715312010-05-26T17:06:21.255-07:002010-05-26T17:06:21.255-07:00Thank you for sharing this with us. I love the ope...Thank you for sharing this with us. I love the opening for NAKED EYE. It is definitely chilling and full of suspense. I got visceral pains just reading it. Great job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-51664015095087494672010-05-26T16:18:09.739-07:002010-05-26T16:18:09.739-07:00Hi! How very brave and generous of you to share yo...Hi! How very brave and generous of you to share your progress in writing. Thank you!<br /><br />The scissor thing, uh. But you definitely left me wanting to read more. ;)<br /><br />I've read your guest post at Olive's blog. I sympathize with you and wish you all the luck! Also, thanks for the follow back at Randomities. :)Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08570428969140414779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-2368358734289417632010-05-26T16:17:36.850-07:002010-05-26T16:17:36.850-07:00I like that! It really pulled me in :)
It's f...I like that! It really pulled me in :)<br /><br />It's fun to look back and see how far we've come. I've learned a lot in the past year as well!Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-50648615909429931672010-05-26T15:40:03.231-07:002010-05-26T15:40:03.231-07:00Crimey, the more mortified we are with our earlier...Crimey, the more mortified we are with our earlier work, the more progress we've made. It's a good way of looking at it!<br /><br />Eric W. Trant, I'm sorry I've traumatized you. I'll refrain from writing any posts about spiders if I can help it. I didn't meant to create a room 101.<br /><br />Hampshireflyer, it was freaking me out as I wrote it. And I'll probably have to freak myself out more as I continue writing this manuscript!<br /><br />Shelley Sly, you're too kind. At least now I'm not writing stories like that first one! <br /><br />As for the new piece, I'm grossed out by the research I still have to do.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-35290767861819562902010-05-26T14:18:28.743-07:002010-05-26T14:18:28.743-07:00Oh my gosh. First of all, your second excerpt was...Oh my gosh. First of all, your second excerpt was SO good that I was holding my hand over my own eyes, truly feeling your character's pain. (I also have a huge fear of losing an eye, so this really grabbed me.) Wow. You can write, that's for sure.<br /><br />Your first excerpt... well, I have binders full of stories that look like that. It's all part of the writing process. :)Shelley Slyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981620646634240160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-20337088672081119672010-05-26T14:15:21.434-07:002010-05-26T14:15:21.434-07:00That's some serious improvement there, well do...That's some serious improvement there, well done :)<br /><br />Also the sort of prose that makes me want to put my hands up to my eyes to make sure they're both still there!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-66430028026416499942010-05-26T14:12:38.258-07:002010-05-26T14:12:38.258-07:00Fwahahahaagh!
I feel like I'm covered in spid...Fwahahahaagh!<br /><br />I feel like I'm covered in spiders. I'd rather be covered in spiders, actually. I'd rather eat a bowl of spiders.<br /><br />I have a severe phobia -- and my wife and anyone who knows me will attest to that fact that I am an OCD freak about it -- with losing an eye to a sharp object or projectile.<br /><br />Totally Rainman, I'm telling you.<br /><br />I've said often that a gauged eye is my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Room_101>Room 101</a>.<br /><br />You get me, right?<br /><br />Point is, Theresa, I could NOT read your piece. Not not NOT!<br /><br />Gads, my fingers are shaking.<br /><br />Bwhahagghfrerahkerg.<br /><br />I need a freaking beer now.<br /><br />And some safety goggles.<br /><br /> - EricEric W. Tranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13842968931062056407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-21259475505653922662010-05-26T11:42:11.356-07:002010-05-26T11:42:11.356-07:00I always feel a bit of embarassment when looking b...I always feel a bit of embarassment when looking back on my old drafts or older projects, but more so, I feel really excited because I know that I'm a better writer and storyteller.About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10011023963327391019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-39806421304729164732010-05-26T11:04:23.854-07:002010-05-26T11:04:23.854-07:00Jen, I think Mary from Kidlit cautioned against us...Jen, I think Mary from Kidlit cautioned against using "ordinary" because it's been so overdone. Too bad I didn't know that when I used it a million times in the first paragraph!<br /><br />Talli, thank you. By embarrassing myself, the world can see my progression too!<br /><br />Clara, I'm glad you liked it. I hope the rest of the manuscript winds up being as strong as the beginning.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-60694194960946878342010-05-26T10:47:38.267-07:002010-05-26T10:47:38.267-07:00Woa! An AMAZING difference!!! The eye thing on the...Woa! An AMAZING difference!!! The eye thing on the beginning of the second excerpt made me go WTF!? It stuck me to reading bulls eye!<br />Well done!Clarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00062728322162370588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-41642497002612915482010-05-26T10:45:32.272-07:002010-05-26T10:45:32.272-07:00Wow, what a difference! The second time around is ...Wow, what a difference! The second time around is so much stronger. You've clearly come a long way!Talli Rolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04780882465745107715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3801207462566510326.post-2540780201391454432010-05-26T10:36:02.231-07:002010-05-26T10:36:02.231-07:00I love to pull out the work we had the beginning a...I love to pull out the work we had the beginning and compare, you can actually see how much success you really had. I will say I loved the beginning of the story, the word ordinary was said so many times I couldn't help but chuckle, in fact if I hear the word ordinary at all today I'll be thinking of your post!<br /><br />I look forward to seeing where you go from here! The journey begins indeed, and it's never a dull road, always winding.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03667521490706435608noreply@blogger.com