Avoiding Adverbs and Circumventing Clichés

In November, I featured Jessica's book Show and Tell in a Nutshell.  She's back with a new book!

Too many adverbs and clichés in your writing? I've got just the fix for you.
by Jessica Bell

Writers constantly have rules thrown at them left, right, and center. Show, don’t tell! Stop using so many dialogue tags! More sensory detail! More tension! Speed up the pace! Yada yada yada ... it can become overwhelming, yes? I used to feel overwhelmed by it all too. In fact, I still do sometimes. It’s hard enough to get the words on the page, let alone consider how to put them there.

In Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, she says that in order not to be overwhelmed, a writer needs to focus on short assignments. She refers to the one-inch picture frame on her desk and how that little picture frame reminds her to focus on bite-sized pieces of the whole story. Basically, if you focus on one small thing at a time, the story will eventually come together to create a whole. I believe the same applies to learning the craft of writing. If writers focus on one aspect of the craft at a time, the process will seem less daunting and piece by piece it will come together.

My name’s Jessica Bell, and my own struggles with feeling overwhelmed inspired me to write the Writing in a Nutshell Series of pocket-sized writing guides. So you can learn to hone your craft in bite-sized, manageable pieces. In the first book of the series, I focused on demonstrating how to transition “telling” into “showing.” In Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Subversions of Adverbs & Clichés into Gourmet Imagery, I deal with another of the most common criticisms aspiring writers face: to absolutely avoid adverbs and clichés like the plague. But see, right now, I just used one of each. I also used a couple in the first two paragraphs of this post because they come naturally, and we utilize them frequently in everyday speech. But in fiction, too many adverbs and clichés weaken your prose. It’s considered “lazy writing,” because it means we don’t have to show what’s happening.

If your manuscript has too many adverbs and clichés, it most likely means that the emotion you felt while writing it is not going to translate to the reader in the same way. So how exactly can we approach the subversion of adverbs and clichés? For starters, play around with simile and metaphor when you’re trying to convey emotion, and for action, use strong verbs to show it happening in real time.

The key? Think smaller details rather than the bigger picture.

Need some help and inspiration?

In Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell: Demonstrated Subversions of Adverbs & Clichés into Gourmet Imagery, you will find thirty-four examples of prose which clearly demonstrate how to turn those pesky adverbs and clichés into vivid and unique imagery. Dispersed throughout are blank pages to craft your own unique examples. Extra writing prompts are also provided at the back of the book.

“Jessica Bell's latest pocket guide, Adverbs & Clichés in a Nutshell, will inspire you to leave bland behind and pursue your creative best. With force and clarity, she demonstrates how adverbs and clichés hobble vibrant writing. She then marks a course toward unique expression and provides workouts that will help writers at every level develop a distinctive voice.” ~Laurel Garver, freelance editor, author of Never Gone and Muddy-Fingered Midnights

Purchase links:
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Ca | Kobo

Bio: The Australian-native contemporary fiction author and poet, Jessica Bell, also makes a living as an editor and writer for global ELT publishers (English Language Teaching), such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, Macmillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.

She is the co-publishing editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal, and the director of the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca.

For more information about Jessica please visit:
Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook

Terrie Wolf of AKA Literary

Terrie Wolf of AKA Literary  is one of the nicest agents out there. She graciously agreed to answer a few questions for my blog.

What are common mistakes writers make in the queries you receive? (Warn us, please!)

I think the most common mistakes are the simple things. Make sure your query matches the recipient, for example. We joke that my name is not Mr. Wolf, Mr. Wolfe or Terry. Take the time to know who you’re sending your work to and that the person who’ll be contacted actually takes that type/genre of work. The other thing I see centers on the provision of too much or too little information about your work.  A simple suggestion is to try to build three sentences about a work which represents the beginning, middle and end – that’s enough.

How can writers make their queries stand out?

I like it when points are presented in a clear and professional manner. If there are typos in the query, there will probably be problems within a manuscript. We offer guidelines on our website.

Are you more likely to take on a client after meeting them through social media or at a conference? Or does each query get weighed on content alone? 

I have signed authors who were originally introduced to me at conference or via social media, but it was the integrity of their work that caught my eye. I will forewarn you, I’ve also made the decision to refrain from the offer of representation due to the behavior exhibited at conferences and within the realm of social media.

Which genres would you like to receive now?

I have an eclectic list. Remember, long before I was an agent, I was an editor and a member of the international media. Thus, I tend to go for story over genre. I’d like to find believable YA, redemptive and intelligent MG and picture/board books that end up being the “it” book for little ones. I like humorous (not gross), engaging (not mean), adventurous fiction for all age levels and beautifully depicted – and illustrated – picture books and highly expressive and entertaining nonfiction.  

On a lesser, but still important note, I’m in search of Women’s Fiction. Overall, it’s about finding something I know I can’t live without, something I have to share with the world.

Which genres have jumped the shark?

I don’t know if any genres have jumped the shark so much as the industry as a whole may have nearly fallen into the proverbial pond. I spend a good amount of time learning about the reading practices of a given audience. A while back I discovered that the average young person (aged 14 – 18) spends something like 56 hours a week on “other forms” of “readable material”. Translation: cell phones, computers, social media and gaming. These young people aren’t, unfortunately, spending time with books, including eBooks. For someone like me who wants to provide the next great read, the stats are a little shocking.  Fortunately, the industry has responded with offerings that have been of interest to young people, through formats that are more enticing. I think publishers are quite interested in finding and developing works that will meet and challenge audience interests. To me, “jumping the shark” takes place as a last ditch effort. I have yet to witness that mentality.

How have factors like: eBooks, self-publishing, and Borders closing changed the business for you?

I don’t recall a time when there were so many options for authors to achieve publication. I was thrilled to serve as a board member for Colorado Independent Publishers Association because I learned about the many possible paths people had available to them to reach the ultimate goal of being published. These models provide the opportunity to question our methods and seek excellence. 

Life is about options, and the world of publishing is no different.

Do these factors influence the clients or projects you take?

I’m open to all options. My main concern is the viability of a given work and its ability to convey an intended message.

What publishing trends (if any) do you see coming?

Two things I never place bets on; horses and publishing trends. I may be swayed, however, by the promise of good chocolate. Honestly, I think editors are very receptive right now. The industry is excited to work with newer, well-presented and well-represented authors who have written excellent work. And, for the first time in a long time, I feel a genuine hope. It that a trend? I’d like to think so!  From a business perspective, I think consolidation will continue and the use of web-based apps (vs. device-based) will take precedence. I’m personally coordinating more with international contacts. To the savvy writer this means that the written word needs to be engaging for a larger market from a global perspective. 

Thank you for the interview, Terrie.

Want to hear more from Terrie Wolf? Find her on Twitter 

I recommend the AKA Literary Page on Facebook  

It’s full of positive posts.

And here’s some information about Terrie Wolf on Literary Rambles 

NESCBWI 2013 – What it Meant to Me

Me with Sharon Creech.

I attended the New England chapter of the Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators Conference (say that 3 times fast) this weekend.

Each year, I grow as a writer.

Each year, the conference has a different meaning for me.

The first time, I went with a friend and stayed for one day. I didn’t even stay overnight. I saw agent Stephen Fraser speak and dared to speak to him afterwards.

The following year, I went alone and stayed for two days. I had my first critique with an editor (it didn’t go well—I’d made my middle grade protagonist 9). I found 1 friend in the bar.

I still hang out with her each year.

Through her, I’ve met people. Through me, she’s met people.

At some point, I began to volunteer. Between volunteering and meeting people through blogging and Facebook, my circle of friends expanded. I’ve had the same roommate for 3 years. She even drives me to the conference.

 (Thanks, Judy Mintz!) 

My writing got better, so my critiques became more positive.

I’ve stopped sweating before I sit in front of an agent or editor.

Writers are rock stars to me. This conference has given me many opportunities to meet them.

In years past, faculty, organizers, agents, and editors sat at reserved tables. This year, the signs on the tables were gone. This meant all of us could sit anywhere. Since two writers whom I greatly admire were speaking that day, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

On Saturday morning I sat in the front. Since I was supposed to help for Sharon Creech's  keynote, I introduced myself to her. She joined my table. After the initial “OhMyGodSharonCreechIsTalkingToMe—ActNormal” wore off, I enjoyed the conversation. Turns out she lives near my dad, so we had a lot to talk about.

My favorite line came from Sharon’s Creech’s closing:

"Whatever words you have to say, may you have the good fortune to say them to a child."

At lunchtime, keynote speaker and author/illustrator Grace Lin  sat with us. I didn’t get say much to her, but I did talk to her husband and got her baby to smile.

My favorite line from Grace Lin:

"If your work is as true to yourself as possible, then you've created something no one else in the world can."

This weekend, Jo Knowles received the Crystal Kite Award. The honor moved her to tears. She said:

“I hope my 10-year journey will inspire you to keep on the path. The journey to publication can be achingly ‘meandering’. But please don't measure time as an indicator of your success. Instead, use each day to improve your craft. Use each conference to make new friends. Appreciate your mentors and be a mentor yourself.” 

This resonated with me. Not only did I realize there’s no expiration date on becoming a published author, but that I truly belong. When I saw Jo in the elevator later, I thanked her.  Here’s her whole speech. 

Note: Jo’s been a conference attendee for 17 YEARS.

This year, I became more social and comfortable. No longer do I walk into a room and wonder where I’ll sit or whom to talk to. No longer do I need the safety net of a handful of writer friends I’ve accumulated. Now I just go and talk. To everyone.

When authors sign my books, I no longer squeak a few words of adoration or only manage, “Thank you.” I just talk to them. 

I realized I’m no longer an outsider—I’m a part of the fabric of the conference. And I want to do even more next year. Attending is not just about attending workshops. My learning needs have changed. Established authors feel more like cohorts, even if their career is ahead of mine. I don’t need to be intimidated by agents and editors.  I belong.

This means that just connecting with the writers, agents, and editors is as valuable as furiously copying notes at every workshop. It’s only 3 days each year. It’s not school, so I’m no longer rushing to bed to be fresh in the morning. I don’t want to miss anything. There are a handful of committed people who organize and run this conference. SCBWI, especially the New England Branch, has been pivotal to my writing progress. I want to give back even more.

Do you attend conferences?

What do you expect from conferences?

What do conferences mean to you?

Becoming

I'm on:

Caroline Starr Rose's BLOG 

today. 

I've written a poem about poetry.

Please VISIT! 

Thank you. 

We are Boston

Last night, my ten-year-old daughter slept in the bedroom with my husband and me.

She was freaked out.

I didn’t know I was until I woke up in the middle of the night, and the previous five days’ events whipped around my brain.

When 09/11 occurred, I lived in New York. The magnitude of what had happened shocked our nation and the world. I lived an hour away and knew people whose lives had been irrevocably changed as a result.

A month later, I moved to Cambridge, MA.

Eleven years later, I moved to Arlington.

A couple of months ago, I posted an article about how I felt at the time of the move from Cambridge to Arlington http://arlington.patch.com/blog_posts/open-letter-to-cambridge-ma. I learned that, for some, there was a divide between the two places wider than the Charles River.

Monday, two bombs exploded at the Boston Marathon.

I’ve never gone to the marathon. Each year I mean to, but somehow don’t. I wasn’t directly in any danger. I knew someone who raced, who was fine. Later, I found out a woman who died worked not far from my house.

But I felt it profoundly. Boston is my home. Not Cambridge. Not Arlington. I don’t identify just with a street or a neighborhood or even a town. The reason my husband and I moved here is because we’d vacationed around Massachusetts when we were still in college and fell in love with the state. The whole Boston-area is home to me.

I wasn’t alone feeling Bostonian. Yankee Stadium played “Sweet Caroline.” Each time, I think about it, I get chills. Other cities, other people made similar gestures at other stadiums, plastered posters of solidarity on Facebook, set up races to honor Boston’s fallen.

The whole week felt surreal. It was spring break, but there was this unease. The persons who committed the atrocious acts were out there… somewhere. Would they be caught? Would they strike again?

Then Friday morning at 6:15, the events familiar to all of us began to unfold. For the next 16 hours, I was glued to the radio and TV and social media. Even though Arlington wasn’t on lockdown, the towns around us were. I had faith in the Boston Police and every unit of law enforcement on the case.

But other parts of the day were even harder. The picture of the suspect who’d escaped. He looked so earnest. I’ve taught children about the age he was in the photo in Cambridge for years. I’d even subbed at Cambridge Rindge and Latin two of the years he was there. I lived just blocks away from the suspects’ home. I had just PARKED MY CAR right by his house and walked past it on WEDNESDAY. Were either of the suspects in there at the time? What were they doing?

Had I walked the same streets with him at the same time? Had our paths crossed?

Even though the terrorists didn’t affect me directly, I was affected.

He looked no different than the kids I’d taught, the children my kids went to school with, the people I saw in the street. I’ve met the teachers in his elementary school. I can picture the kindergarten classes there.

I’ve seen terrorists on the TV before. It was easy to demonize them. While I know this suspect should and will be punished, I know he was here living with us.

How did he live with us, yet still de-humanize us? How could he plan something so big and horrible?

He was a part of Boston, yet he hurt it.

He hurt us.

More than ever, I am not just a part of my street or neighborhood or town. The Boston Marathon is an international event. Our world is as big or as small as we make it.

If we make our world big, then there is no us vs. them. There’s just us.

No matter where we are, we are Boston.

This appeared on the Arlington Patch: http://arlington.patch.com/blog_posts/we-are-boston

Yearning

Swathe in snug, towel folds

Shielding my gaze from reflection

Slathering silk lotion

Over cream hills and dales and olds

Close my eyes, call to mind

Smoothness, tautness, band-snapping skin

Jutting bones, xylophones

Sans purple crosses marring shin

Memories, baths before

Lost youthful body bathes no more

Gravity, beseech me

Birthing badges bring no honor

Stand up tall, suck in core

Scrutinize dimpled, bobbling thighs

Yielding, embrace contours

Impressionist ageless allure

Releasing the wrapping

Flashing into his yearning arms

- Theresa Milstein

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

Beginnings

Carol Kilgore visits to tackle what we writers wrestle with, rewrite…

Once upon a time . . .

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive . . .

Beginnings.

We remember the perfect ones.

They seem so easy, so effortless.

Wrong!

For me, beginnings are the most difficult part of the story to write.

They’re not so hard to draft – we’re all excited to get those words down while we’re chasing after the latest Bright Shiny. But those first draft words are sly and deceitful. What was full of promise on Day 1 becomes dull and plodding when we’re back for a second look on Day 101.

Our mission is simple – entice the reader to turn the page.

Start with the first line. The first paragraph. The first page. The first chapter.

Think about words, tone, personality, content.

Think about pacing, building suspense. Surprise. Laughter. Whatever direction leads into your story.

Make the reader care enough to turn the page.

Cast your bright, shiny hook her way, and reel her into your story.

For as long as I’ve been writing, I’ve tried to write a fast first draft. I go at a fair clip once I get my sea legs, but that doesn’t happen until I introduce the main characters and some (meaning more than two) of them interact. That usually takes between 20-30 pages before I’m comfortable.

During this time, it’s slow going. I write. Rewrite. Write. Rearrange. Write. Change some preconceived ideas. Write. And so on. I change the beginning again and again. Sometime during the process, the first lines start to gel. I only pick at a word here and there.

Each time I put on my writing hat, I move deeper into the characters and story. But I also go over and over these first pages each time.

In revisiting them each day, the prose becomes smoother, the ideas become more solid, the backstory and banter I didn’t think I included gets written out. But the most important thing for me is that I get to know my main characters better.

By the time I do move on, the beginning is as good as I can make it . . . for first draft.

Then comes the next draft. And the one after. They all go the same way. When I no longer spend more time on the opening than on any of the other pages, I finally feel like I’m good to go.

I continue to hope for a speedy first draft beginning with the first word. Maybe one day I’ll succeed. I wonder if I’ll miss the extra time with my characters?

How about you?

How do you handle the beginning?

Is it as difficult for you as it is for me?

I hope not.

You can find Carol here:

website . blog . facebook . twitter . goodreads . amazon

And check out Solomon’s Compass. Here’s the blurb:

A missing belt—her uncle’s prized possession. The lure of buried treasure. And a sexy former SEAL who makes U.S. Coast Guard Commander Taylor Campbell crazy. What more could any woman want. Right?

Taylor is in Rock Harbor, Texas, on a quest to unearth her uncle’s treasure—a journey far outside the realm of her real life. There’s one glitch. Taylor's certain the buried treasure was all in Uncle Randy's dementia-riddled mind. Now he’s dead.

Former SEAL Jake Solomon is in Rock Harbor under false pretenses to protect Taylor from the fate that befell her uncle and the other members of a tight circle of Coast Guardsmen called the Compass Points who served together on Point boats in Vietnam.

Jake is definitely not supposed to become involved with Taylor. That was his first mistake. Taylor is attracted to Jake as well, but she refuses to wait for him to locate the killer when she knows her plan will force her uncle’s murderer into action.

But the killer's actions are just what Jake is afraid of.