How to Make Your First Line POP!
by Jessica Bell
There’s nothing more important than
starting your story right. So don’t forfeit the chance to make sure the first
line of your novel really cries for readers’ attention.
There are a few points you might like
to consider to make your first line the best it can possibly be. I believe the
ideal first line does the following:
1. Poses a question. By this, I do not
mean your first sentence should literally be a question; I mean it should
introduce a conflict that has the potential to spark readers’ interest.
2. Hints at genre.
3. Is not too long. Punchy works best.
Think about those infamous six-word stories: For sale:
baby shoes, never worn. They
embody so much complexity in so few words, don’t they? Aim for something
similarly concise and complex. Think of your first sentence as a complete slice
of life. It should conjure vivid imagery and intrigue.
4. Is noticeably related to the plot of
your story. Even if a reader doesn’t immediately recognize it as such, the
connection will dawn on them further into the book.
Before I give you an example of a good
first line, let me show you a weak one:
My name is Janet and I don’t want to see my therapist.
Okay, let’s break this down.
Does it pose a question? Erm … yes, but
not a very intriguing one. Something needs to be added for the reader to really
want to know why Janet doesn’t want to see her therapist. At the moment, I’m
not really interested in why because
it hasn’t introduced any conflict.
Does it hint at genre? Possibly. Sounds
like Women’s Fiction or Chick Lit to me. But honestly, it could be anything. If
the next sentence reveals she’s a Cyborg with an identity crisis, then I’d be
pretty sure it’s Science Fiction. But why should I wait until the second line?
Is it too long? Nope. At least it’s got
that going for it.
Is it heavily related to the plot? I
wouldn’t know. All I know is that the narrator’s name is Janet and she is
complaining. Not a very compelling character trait to start off with, in my
opinion.
Now that we’ve got the weak example out
of the way, let’s move on to the strong example.
The deathcare therapists say, “Die happy, live happier.”
Does this pose a question? Yes! Why do
people need “deathcare therapy?” It’s obviously not about offering support for
the terminally ill, because why would it reference the afterlife? And it’s
obviously not something only one therapist said, because it’s written in
present tense to express a general truth. So it must be some sort of slogan.
Perhaps it’s something that is preached through the media? Is it spiritual in
nature? Or do people really get a second chance at life after they die? So many
questions. I’m intrigued!
Does it hint at genre? I’d say so. I
get a sense of Speculative Fiction or Psychological Thriller. Big change from
my previous genre assumption.
Is it too long? No. I think this is a
great length. It’s punchy, to the point, and full of intrigue.
Is it heavily related to the plot? I’d
assume so. Why offer something so rich with implication if it has nothing to do
with the story? From this first line, I’m assuming that this story is about
life, death, and finding happiness. And perhaps within a moderately dystopian
world.
Now it’s your turn. What’s your first
line? Can you make it better?
Checklist:
1. Does your first line pose a
question?
2. Does it hint at genre?
3. Is it short and punchy?
4. Is it related to the plot of your
story?
Bio:
Jessica Bell, a
thirty-something Australian-native contemporary fiction author, poet and
singer/songwriter/ guitarist, is the Publishing Editor of Vine Leaves
Literary Journal and the director of
the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca. She makes a living as a
writer/editor for English Language Teaching Publishers worldwide, such as
Pearson Education, HarperCollins, MacMillan Education, Education First and
Cengage Learning.
Connect with Jessica online:
Writers, share your FIRST LINE
in the comments section
and Jessica will give you FEEDBACK
Leave a comment by Friday at midnight, June 6th EST.
