Monday, September 5, 2011

First Challenge

The requirement is to begin with, The door swung open…

Here’s my attempt at exactly 200 words:



The door swung open. I lit a candle from the mantel and entered the dark cave. The door swung shut, making me jump. I tugged the knob, but it wouldn’t budge.

With each tentative step, I cursed the factors that led me to this predicament. One, I was home alone. Two, I was bored. Three, the fireplace's jutting stone compelled me to press it. Four, my parents wouldn’t return for hours. Five, what would happen when the candle burned out?

Step six led to a set of stairs, too deep to see to the bottom. I took a step. My racing heart didn’t match my slow descent. My parents would never hear me from so far down. But something compelled me to go on.

As soon as I reached the landing, I inhaled the aroma of food. How could that be? Ahead, I spied light. Blowing out the stumpy candle, I followed the scent and ignored my stomach’s cries to flee.


“She’s come!”


I heard the merriment from the waxy-skinned youths before I absorbed the sconce-illuminated room. A spread more impressive than Thanksgiving stood before me. I entered the room. The door swung shut.


“Join us in the never-ending feast.”


63 comments:

  1. That was great Theresa. You had me going there! Well done.

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  2. the never ending feast - what a satisfyingly horrifying ending, and in so few words!:)

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  3. This was fun. The end was a twist I didn't expect.

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  4. Never ending feast... I'm beginning to worry about you. :)

    Wonderful little ditty and I'm really glad you are still sharing your words with us. :D
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  5. Hi Theresa .. this is great and could definitely have fitted in to KarenGs BBQ blog party ...

    ... lots of tales to tell here too .. can see them coming out of the woodwork down below ..

    Enjoy Labor Day .. and have a really good Autumn .. cheers Hilary

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  6. Great ending...I still don't know whether to be chilled/horrified or delighted! A never ending feast...hhmmm. ~ Nadja

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  7. verrrrrry interesting. I wonder if she'll ever escape?

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  8. I wondered what was going to happen! I wanted to scream "NO!" and then you left me with giggles at the end... hehe!

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  9. Like a twisted fairy story nightmare!! Loved this!! Yay!!! Take care
    x

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  10. Oooh, the ending made this just deliciously wonderful. The horror lurked underneath the words until that end, and then it sprung up and devoured me.

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  11. Wonderful dark fairy-tale feel to this :)

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  12. closer, closer, closer...ah!
    great step by step story =)

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  13. Uh oh. Trapped with delicious food for eternity! I can't quite decide if that's a curse or a blessing :D

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  14. Interesting! I like the way you described things as a way to create suspense. Description has always been difficult for me, especially because my first drafts are always full of dialogue.

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  15. Such a wonderful ending! It sure sounds like it's heading into creepy! Great job!

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  16. Never ending feast?! That sounds so scary. Great job! I thought I was a follower before, but in any case, I signed up again:)

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  17. run!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
    Awesomely creepy and cool all at once :)

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  18. Nice! I like the creepy factor. I love this challenge. Good luck!

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  19. Loved the scary feel of going down those stairs and then seeing light. A scene unfolding that the character couldn't know about, when the door swung open, then shut, earlier. Creepy feel to the end, too, leaving me wondering, "What kind of never ending feast?"

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  20. I love the mood-setting (scary!) and the superb twist at the end. :)

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  21. I love reading how everyone can take the same prompt and be so wonderfully creative and unique with their results. This is great, Theresa!

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  22. Hi Theresa, this tantalising little tale had shades of Alice in Wonderland and many others. Great mood created. Loved it. D

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  23. Excellent tension throughout! Nicely done.

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  24. My curiosity would sent me on the same path! Great story and I also love the twist at the end.

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  25. Is it bad that I sort of want to have fairies living in my fireplace now? Love the twisted tale!

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  26. I get the feeling that something horrid is about to happen. I'm also getting flashbacks to not one, but two Spanish films! The first was Pan's Labyrinth, the second to The Orphanage. Both had some very, very sad moments :( I would very much like to see what happens from this point on...

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  27. Creepy, and the logical part of my brain loved the part with the steps.
    -Aaron

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  28. I love that these stories go so many different ways. This is fun. I'm #72

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  29. The steps were so scary...loved the ending!

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  30. Nice atmosphere in so few words. :)

    A never-ending feast sounds good to me!

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  31. Oh, I like that a lot! Great tension. Well done.

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  32. I'm all for a never ending feast. I think. Well, maybe. Nice twist! And yes! Your blog works in Safari! I thought I was going crazy there for a while!

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  33. Never-ending festival...so many meanings, visuals! Great job!

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  34. Ooh, creepy, intriguing, and with beautiful description!

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  35. I loved the tension of the going down the stairs! Very good, and yay! It's not that terrible thing from Pan's Labryinth waiting at the bottom... LOL! :D *shivers*

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  36. A cursed room where you never stop eating? That's my kind of fate!

    Loved your entry, Theresa! :)

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  37. The neverending feast! Noooooo! Poor kid. Those fireplace buttons get em every time:)

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  38. And that is why I tell my kids, "Do not touch the fireplace!"
    Great job!

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  39. That ending gives me the chills, I know if I was in that situation, i don't care how hungry I am, i would whoosh! right back up them stairs quicker then the hush of my candle!

    You have to tell me how it ends and put my worries to rest!

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  40. Interesting. Sounds like a kid with an imagination running wild.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  41. Well, in most folklore they tell you never to touch the food a fairy offers ... it'll bind you in their realm forever! That is, unless you *want* to stay. Good story!

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  42. I like how the ending could be something to worry about...or not. Definitely gave me a chill! :)

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  43. *shudders*
    I'd grab a slice of pie and high tail it out of there!
    Great build up of tension and a nice chilling end. :)

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  44. Oooh! Creepy and fantastic (mean of a fantasy meld). I love the progression of steps in correlation with thoughts. So oh might story teller, what happens next?

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  45. Leave it to a bored teenager to find trouble! Great piece - I'd like to know what happens next :)

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  46. I quite liked this. So that's where missing children go to. ;-)

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  47. Those 'waxy-skinned youths' made me think zombie. Your girl certainly is game for adventure.

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  48. I loved the voice you captured for the MC in your twisted fairy story nightmare! A great story.

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  49. That was suspenseful. Fantastic, Theresa.

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  50. Being trapped alone without your parents, sounds scary. The feast was unexpected...as long as they don't try to eat her. Nice job. :)

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