Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Hide

“I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.”
—Harper Lee


       I read my last post and feel like a different person wrote it.  This isn’t an unfamiliar feeling.  Any writer knows that with great hope comes the eventual loss of hope. 

One positive piece of news can make a day.

One negative feedback can break a day.


       For me, it seems to be coming from all fronts. I apply for jobs, many through schoolspring.com.  Sometimes, I get an email that an employer has read my resume (hope).  Sometimes, I get an email that the position has been filled (loss of hope). 

       I spent much of Sunday applying for non-teaching jobs.  I’m still applying for teaching and even better paying instructional aide jobs.  What is one qualified for (other than teaching) with a History B.A. and M.A.? I worked at GEICO full time, and then part time during grad school, but that was a long time ago.  I hope to find a position in education, so maybe there will be some more vacation time for me to spend with my kids.  I’ll miss the summer. That is, if I get a job. At least my last job is waiting for me.


Then there’s writing…

I’ve sent 10 queries.

I’ve received 2 rejections.

 Vine Leaves Literary Journal  accepted my poem for their July issue. (YaY!)


       In the midst of that happiness, I received 2 bits of negative writing feedback, so the brief moment in the sun became a tsunami.

I feel like hiding.

I’m tired of saying I’m a teacher who isn’t teaching.

I’m tired of saying I’m a writer who isn’t published.

Small pieces.

But no BIG BOOKS.


       Since summer began, I’ve been devoting lots of time to editing.  I plan to have 2 more projects to query by end of summer. 

Too bad the story of my life is… the best laid plans.

Depressed yet? 


I’m leaving us with some inspirational quotes.  We could use them about now.


“When your story is ready for rewrite, cut it to the bone. Get rid of every ounce of excess fat. This is going to hurt; revising a story down to the bare essentials is always a little like murdering children, but it must be done.”
—Stephen King, WD

“Plot is people. Human emotions and desires founded on the realities of life, working at cross purposes, getting hotter and fiercer as they strike against each other until finally there’s an explosion—that’s Plot.”
—Leigh Brackett, WD

“Write. Rewrite. When not writing or rewriting, read. I know of no shortcuts.”
—Larry L. King, WD

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
—Ernest Hemingway

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
—George Orwell

“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.”
—Philip Roth



Okay, maybe not all inspirational.


What do you do to keep a thick hide?

54 comments:

  1. Oh, we all go through ups and downs, but what's important is perseverance. That's why I know we'll both be fine.

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  2. I'm so sorry everything's frustrating right now. The only thing you can do is keep on working, keep on hoping. I've got my fingers crossed that something good comes through for you soon!

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  3. Yay for your poem!!! That's brilliant news! Yes it is!!

    Lovely Theresa!!! One's hide can neve be thick enough with this writerly journey! But that's why writers write! Such masochists! LOL!! But seriously - hang on in there! Sometimes that's the best we can do! Take care
    x

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  4. I don't think that one step forward, two steps back feeling ever fully leaves us. It depends how we treat the rejections. Much easier to say 'be positive' than do it, I know, but putting a positive slant onto everything really helps you feel less snowed-under.

    Congrats on your poetry acceptance!! In fact, you should edit this post and put that first, and then make the font much larger!!

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  5. We all go through those times when we feel like we're putting every effort that we can into the world and still getting nothing back. But I think hard work always gets rewarded and you will be too. Just keep on chugging, Theresa! And congrats on your poem getting accepted by Vine Leaves!!

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  6. Oh, gosh, Theresa. Thick hides are so hard to come by! It's taken ages for me to grow mine - I went through a HORRIBLE time last year when I got a slew of negative reviews on Amazon with my first novel. But eventually, I think you just come to terms with the fact that writing and reading are both so personal. What one person hates, another loves. It's a matter of just doing what you love and sticking at it!

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  7. I'm not a writer, but with other things, I keep myself laser focused on my own goals, not what other people's opinions are of me or my work, but what I've been working towards and how close I've gotten to it.

    Hang in there. Hard work and perseverance always produce good things.

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  8. All you can do is keep going and DON"T QUIT! I hear you on the teaching applications too. I am also having a very hard time finding a full time job, not very easy when districts are cuttingand when they hire, they hire the least expensive first year teacher. And all I want to do is something in education! Good luck to you, girl!! It's tough out there. But so are you!

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  9. You have my sympathetic understanding. Writing let's you in for such ups and downs. Rejections. Acceptance. Rejections. Congratulations on having another poem in Vine Leaves Literary Journal. The bigger projects will come in time. Thanks for sharing these quotes. I especially liked the Hemingway quote.

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  10. Congrats on the poem acceptance. And as for thick hide building, I think the key is to try to channel those tough emotions creatively. Pour that pain into a character and work through it. Explore it in a piece of poetry. Journal it and see if it doesn't inspire a new story. Emotions are the stuff of drama, so the last thing a writer should do is try to shut off that part of themselves.

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  11. Yay for your Vine Leaves acceptance. Just keep doing what you are doing. The hard work will pay off eventually. You will find your place and enjoy the ride.

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  12. "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places." -Ernest Hemingway

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  13. Glad to hear about the poem acceptance! I'm sorry to hear about the rejections. I don't have any recipes for a thick hide. But I will say that for me, the rejections have gotten easier over time. Maybe the accumulation has built a healthy callus over my hopes.

    I hope you feel encouraged soon!

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  14. But you'll soon have a piece in Vine Leaves - you are published! Congratulations.
    A season for all things. Just hang in there.

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  15. Oh I know exactly how you feel, Theresa. We must be on the same wavelength or something--I was going through the same bout of "writing depression" for the past few weeks. I had a critique with my group which left me feeling a bit down, at the same time my mom's financial woes and problems were happening. I'm still trying to get back my writing passion, and working on small things everyday seem to help. You and I will make it through this, for sure. You know why? Cause we're stubborn (ie determined) like that. We are writers.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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  16. Yes, it's very difficult to be a writer without being published, especially (imo) when you've already told everyone you write. It's the one thing that holds me back from going public, except for my virtual life and my husband and kids - it's hard enough to accept failure for yourself, you know? I get the teaching thing, too - I left it for awhile an then all I wanted to do was get back into it and I'm thankful I did.
    erica

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  17. totally in the same place! and it seems we get a ton more negative than positive.
    but thats the best art of blogging! building each other up to get through the tough times =)

    hang in there, buckie!

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  18. I like that last quote by Philip Roth!

    We all know the pain of rejections and negative feedback on our writing. It hurts, no matter how much you tell yourself that it's just one person's opinion.

    I also watched my husband struggle through almost 2 years of job hunting while under-employed by a company that was sucking the soul out of him. Those were some very dark times.

    Thankfully, they passed -- as I hope yours does too.

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  19. I missed your last post, I'll go back to read it. These are great quotes, too bad Stephen King didn't take his own advice in his last published novel. It needed about 60K words cut AT LEAST. Hang in there, Theresa, and keep working on thickening that skin.

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  20. Awesome your poem got accepted. I'm not good with the thick hide either and will face layoff in about two years when my company closes. Even now I have my really bad days worrying if I'll find a job. I try to remember the really bad times I survived and didn't surrender and tell myself to do the same now. As for the writing career, I accept that so much of it we don't have control of. So I try to focus on what I can control--enjoying writing and keep growing in it, enjoy the community of writers, support other writers through our blog. Hang in there. Something better is down the road.

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  21. You are doing just what you need to do. You are leaning on the friends who understand. And we do. You are staying in the grind of it all. Even through the struggle of these words, you mention that you'll have 2 projects to query by the end of summer. That is fantastic and much more than I've accomplished. Chin up and keep on keeping on. Here for you anytime...

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  22. Congrads on the poem. That class is really working for you, isn't it? Excellent quotes, my friend! Especially the one from Hemingway.
    And my fanny is thick, but that's because of Hershey Bliss. *sigh* I know how you feel. Negativity. I'll send you an email about what happened to me. It might have stopped me from ever writing again. But I got through it. You will too. I promise. Remember, I've read some of your writing. It's TOTALLY AWESOME. Never forget that. xoxo

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  23. Those quotes are like chicken soup for my writing soul! I've just stripped my recent WIP to the core and rewrote it and I had to remind myself to take it piece by piece and not get overwhelmed. Tough stuff.
    Just keep swimming Theresa and it'll all fall into place. I have to remind myself this too. All the time.

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  24. It's funny how Stephen King is such a stickler on editing when his books are SO LONG. He must write like 1000 words a day to be able to cut what he does. *amazed*

    Thanks for sharing all those quotes. :)

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  25. 1. Congrats on Vine Leaves!
    2. I feel your query pains (like, a LOT).
    3. "If you're going through hell, keep going." ~ Winston Churchill. It's my go-to quote, even if I am grinding it out between clenched teeth. :-)
    Some Dark Romantic

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  26. Oh, Theresa, I wish I had the words to make you feel better. I'm wishing you the best. Keep going. I've got this on my fridge but I don't know who wrote it: Don't quit. There is no telling how FAR you will have to run while chasing your dreams.

    Keep running, Theresa. You'll get there in the end. BIG HUG!

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  27. The trick is to dwell on the good things and let the bad things fall away. If only it were that easy...

    Things will get better. It's summer. Enjoy.

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  28. When I complain too much my hubby tells me I have to get a 9-5 job. That's a great splash of icy water because it reminds me how much I love writing and rejections are part of that 'fun'.

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  29. Hi Theresa. Your life will get better. If we didn't have the valleys we wouldn't have the mountains. The writing life is about highs and lows. Some of us seem to have more of one than the other. Remember 'they' say the road to success is paved with those who gave up just before they became successful, or something like that.
    You are a great writer. Great writers in the past have struggled with years of rejections. Thank God they believed in themselves and their stories enough to keep knocking on doors.
    I'm off to Fiji and I hope my 6 weeks there lead to a lot of writing! Books and stories to finish/tweak.

    Glad you got another acceptance to Vine Leaves. My last sub was rejected, groan.

    Denise

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  30. I needed these quotes the other day. I'm bookmarking the page for the next time the self doubt hits (or when I need a reminder of what I need to do to be a stronger writer).

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  31. Congrats on the poem. I love the quotes... I need them too right now. I guess as writers we're always on the emotional rollercoaster. Negative feedback is always hard... I usually sit on it a few days and think it through... in the end I always realize it's for the best and that it will improve me going forward... but it's a hard one to swallow. Just remember you're a great writer and everything along the way is knowledge gained.

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  32. Congratulations on getting your poem published! That's definitely an important accomplishment. It's perfectly natural to feel discouraged when you're writing, because writing is tough. But the fact that you've kept trying shows that you truly are passionate about writing, unlike the people who give up altogether.
    I'm sorry you haven't found a good teaching job yet. Times are tough for teachers too. I think that teachers should be the ones getting the big salaries, because they don't always get treated as well as they should.

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  33. It's not hard to let the rejection overwhelm the successes. The thing is the successes aren't any smaller because rejections exist--it's just we let them seem that way. Celebrate the moments of success as if that's all there was. Let it fuel your hope. You'll get there. Look at all the things you've managed to accomplish thus far. Perhaps there was a time you didn't see yourself here either? Keep going.

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  34. Congratulations on being accepted by Vine Leaves! I'd say that everything begins with baby steps. Don't get discouraged just because it looks like you're not covering much ground. With persistence and perseverance those little steps will accumulate into a big journey!

    Rejections do suck, but they are a part of the job. And after all, you've still got 8 queries out there!

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  35. Congrats on the poem for Vine Leaves.
    Life will have its ups and downs, I think we all know this and I try to keep in mind things happen for reasons and we may not know why until a later date. You will get through this by just pushing through. Rejections are no fun, trust me, I'm there, but I'm trying to just move forward and believe that one day it will happen.
    Keep going!

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  36. Congrats on the Vine Leaves acceptance! That's exciting. :) I say we need to keep going, keep moving forward, for you know how it goes - nothing ventured, nothing gained. Hang in there!

    Have a great weekend,
    Karen

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  37. I give myself a specific time to feel sorry for myself--cry, vent, shout, dance, and then keep moving forward. It will get better. It will.

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  38. Congratulations on the acceptance! Every little piece counts. Sometimes I want to hide too. Yet we must push forward. Keep going. Write, write, write! :)

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  39. Oh, Theresa. This writing life sux big time sometimes. ((huge hug)) to you. I'm hoping you find a "real" job very soon, and I like those quotes. The Roth one is good b/c WIPs are kind of like good intentions, yes? But by far my fave is this:

    “Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
    —George Orwell

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  40. Congratulations on getting your poem in Vine Leaves!

    For me, labels like "writer" or "teacher" are too confining. Just call yourself Theresa, who loves to write and is a gifted educator and is many, many other wonderful things. Be like these dandelion seeds in your background image - lay back, enjoy the view, and see where the winds take you. And yeah, I know, easier said than done. :/

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  41. Those really are wonderful writing quotes. If the *greats* felt like that, then I guess we should just buckle down and keep writing! :-)

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  42. Sometimes I think querying is like tossing a grenade then jumping into trench and hoping the shrapnel doesn't penetrate your hiding place. Congrats on the poetry! Rejoice in the small victories, eh? One day you'll look back and think, yup, it was worth it. =)

    Oh, and I've nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger award.

    http://crystalcollier.blogspot.com/2012/06/procrastination.html

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  43. I really like the last three quotes and half the time wonder why I continue to torture myself. A day in the doldrums these days comes from a bad review, as well as feeling overwhelmed by all I have to do. But a good review, kind words and progress made washes the bad stuff away - for a while. Writing is like life, I guess. It ebbs and flows and we just gotta ride the wave. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  44. Theresa - Thanks for sharing your heart - I can relate. Explaining to people that I was at the top of my profession before a career-ending injury sounds soooooooo lame! Mentioning I'm an unpublished writer is not far behind. Maybe that's why I love inspirational quotes so much - your list is awesome. (The one by Hemingway was my favorite.) Have a great weekend!

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  45. Congrats on the acceptance of the poem.

    As for everything else, I've been there and sometimes I still find myself there. It feels terrible to work hard and not see results. But the results will come. Perseverance and hard work will always amount to something.

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  46. I don't have a thick hide either. :)

    Be happy for the small successes. Sometimes I think having writing blogs makes us feel like we need to have something big to announce all the time, which just can't be the case. These things take a while.
    Maybe you can find a way to meet more agents personally? Queries are difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. ;)

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  47. I was just thinking yesterday how dramatically my moods ebb and flow. I guess what keeps me going through the ebbs is that I know they will always flow again.

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  48. My hide is so thick now that I can take up alligator wrestling and not worry about tooth marks. Harper Lee said exactly what needed to be said.

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  49. I completely relate, Theresa. My year went about the same - applying for jobs, doing interviews, then they went with someone more experienced. I tried subbing and got very few calls. And the calls I did get came on days I wasn't available, or didn't have enough time to figure out childcare. And the writing life is always up and down. Don't want to put my sob story out there. Anyway, here's to it all turning around for us soon...

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  50. There are some days as a writer when the only silver lining is a hot fudge sundae - or something involving melted cheese. I always keep a file of inspiration quotes to turn to when my hide feels thin.

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  51. Love the Stephen King quote. I feel inspired to do some serious cutting today.

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  52. There is no secret to having a thick hide. Every rejection hurts. I think that the current model of publishing is pretty much broken anyway.

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  53. I keep writing, because I love the stories and characters. But, oh, those rejections hit hard...

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  54. Hmm... I find that being certain of the value of what I do helps put negative feedback from third-parties in perspective. When I question the worth of what I have done, I rely on comparison with ideals (either manifest or intellectual) and on the feedback of the very few people I feel are both qualified and honest/objective enough to give me a valid opinion I can work from.

    Whatever unfolds, we can only strive for the best path at any given time. Looking back or looking too far forward blurs the way. The ultimate challenge is finding our way for all of the things that we are involved in, all of those things that form a tangled matrix of sticky strands through which we carve our meta-path with our decisions.

    Gambate Theresa!

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