After I received feedback from Dianne and Marcy's blogs, I started making changes! I've already reworked the beginning. Right now, I'm leaving in the mirror because I don't use it as a tool to describe her appearance and it has significance for the end of the chapter and the end of the book. It may go later. I've also deleted a few hyphenated bits and I've toned some vocabulary, so the protagonist sounds more MG than YA. This early guidance has helped steer me in the right direction. Thanks, Dianne and Marcy!
If you want to see what I've been writing, please visit:
And if you're interested in receiving a critique, Here's how it works:
Dianne Salerni of In High Spirits and with Marcy Hatch of Mainewords have teamed up to critique the first page of your manuscript on the first M/W/F of every month. If you're interested, please email either one of us. We promise to be nice :)
My first 3 posts of each month are devoted toFIRST IMPRESSIONS-- short crits of first pages submitted by YOU! I'm teaming up with Marcy Hatch of Mainewords for this feature.
or dianne: firstname.lastname@example.org
Please, write 'first impressions' in the subject line, and paste your submission into the body of the email - no attachments. And thank-you! Critiques help all of us.
1. A page is about 350-400 words
2. Prologue or first chapter? Send what you would query an agent or editor with.
3. Will we rip your work apart? Absolutely not. We do our best to be kind and helpful.
We are now taking submissions for September.