“Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon”
Revision
I stare at the page—
Daunted.
Hopeless.
My moxie has fled for
Prolific pastures.
What’s the point?
My pencil’s nub
Rubbed down by cliché.
Rejection.
Cracked in half by this
Introspection.
This pen bleeds
Ink ‘til it runs dry.
And rips this
Paper, wrinkled.
I ball it in my fist
Crushing, crinkled.
Laptop keys used to
Flutter under fingers
Like wind chimes.
Music no more.
I’ve lost the melody
Trampled the score.
Well-worn words
Mock me.
Guffaw.
The lighted screen—
Like a moth I am drawn.
- Theresa Milstein
This poem is dedicated to the writers at the Revision Retreat run by Harold Underdown
UPDATE: I actually wrote this poem a few weeks ago. My critique experience at the retreat was actually positive, and gave me direction and inspiration + I learned some beneficial revision techniques.
Fantastic Theresa! I appreciate how you are not violent when faced with such a challenge. I would have to include several choice words and fist pounding on my computer table.
ReplyDeleteSlamdunk, I actually wrote this poem a few weeks ago. My critique experience at the retreat was actually positive, and gave me direction and inspiration + I learned some beneficial revision techniques.
DeleteI can so relate to this poem. Yep, I'm definitely a moth, singed a little around the edges ;)
ReplyDeleteLynda, I braced myself for a harsh critique, but it was actually positive and constructive. Today I feel less like a singed moth. Who knows what tomorrow brings?
DeleteHi Theresa .. I guess so true when revising works that others need to see - I don't do it often - but love the way you've combined your words into this poem .. great to read - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hilary! I wrote the poem when I was tackling revision on my own. The retreat put me in a much better frame of mind.
DeleteOh Theresa!!!! You've expressed so eloquently the utter despair of the blank page/writer's block!! Yay!! :-) Take care
ReplyDeletex
Thanks, Old Kitty! I hope you've had a wonderful summer.
DeleteThen exile yourself to a farther shore....there is nothing else for it
ReplyDeleteKutamun, writers must carry on!
DeleteRubbed down by cliché - great line!
ReplyDeleteYou really made the poem fit for a writer.
Thanks, Alex!
DeleteMy moxie... Oh how we relate, T. Firstly - hugs. Secondly, feel free to brainstorm with me anything. Um...probably sooner than later. I'm in the same ship as you, now mapping out two projects that I think just need some talking out with another writer. Honestly, anytime. Love this poem! Send it in somewhere.
ReplyDeleteSA, I wrote this a few weeks ago. I'm in a better place right now. I saw the Magpie picture prompt, remembered that line from the song, and thought it would fit the poem. Revision isn't easy. If you need to talk, let me know!
DeleteI definitely can sympathize with the message in this poem.
ReplyDeleteMichael, hopefully we have few days as bleak as the one in this poem.
DeleteYOU know I'm there. I didn't GET to go to the retreat. *sigh* But I feel better with renting THE you know what. *wink* My favorite part of your poem is the last two lines. We're drawn woman! :-) See ya in Vegas!
ReplyDeleteRobyn, I hope you can attend another time. I've got to get to those rentals now that I'm back. See you in Vegas!
DeleteSo glad the retreat was beneficial. I remember the poem and still live it.
ReplyDeleteSusan, hopefully you have more good writing days than bad. You could use them right about now!
DeleteLove it--silly iPhone.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteBeautifully eloquent, and rather moving...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Berowne!
DeleteWow, that's amazing. And we can ALL relate. Beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Julie!
DeleteI have felt this. Sometimes the magic isn't there when I'm sitting at my desk. There can be a lot of frustration.
ReplyDeleteMedeia, I go back and forth about my feelings about writing. When it's good, it've very good....
DeleteMy daughter is reading The Bestest Ramadan Ever. She started it last night. Must be captivated because she came down with the book and is reading this morning. Usually she heads right for the iPad in the morning!
So powerful, Theresa. All writers can identify with the bittersweet experience of revision. The inevitable, stifling quest for perfection that none of us will ever achieve. These days, writing gives me more heartache than revisions, but that's because I worry about revisions even as my laptop keys flutter.
ReplyDeleteVR, I originally called this Writer's Block, so clearly it can be for any stage of the game. I need a new title! Good luck with the rough draft.
DeleteOh, this rings so true. Beautifully written~
ReplyDeleteShelly, you're such a good writer. Hard to believe you go through this! ;)
DeleteRubbed by cliche... AWESOME! Love and Light, S
ReplyDeleteThanks, Senderupwords!
DeleteHow cool that you learned some new revision techniques and that the retreat was so helpful. I think most writers can relate to this poem! Revisions can be tough. :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
DMS, yes, revisions an be tough!
DeleteGetting to you, huh? You have certainly struck a chord: The lighted screen—
ReplyDeleteLike a moth I am drawn.
Denise, I always have these up and downs. I've been up for a couple of weeks, so I expect the pendulum to swing the other way at any moment.
DeleteLOVE the poem, Theresa. Very nice--and oh my goodness, who hasn't been at that moment? Awesome.
ReplyDeleteCrystal, yes, it's a sad fact we have to hit these moments.
DeleteBut they're also kind of glorious too, once we overcome them. Can't have the up without the down, eh?
DeleteExactly. It has to be as if we are the protagonists facing the obstacles!
DeleteI always love your poetry, Theresa - so evocative and moving. I feel this way sometimes when I'm neck-deep in revisions.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Julie! I get this way sometimes during revisions or after a specific rejection. The high highs and the low lows of the writing life!
DeleteReally enjoyed your poetry,Theresa. I thought the line about the 'lighted screen' and 'moth' worked particularly well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary.
DeleteVery moving and beautiful ~ Eddie
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Eddie.
DeleteI think we've all been here...nice write!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tess!
DeleteExcellent! :) Cheering you on as you dive into your revision. Miss you!
ReplyDeleteMiss you too, Debtasticreads. How did so many of us get so close in such a short time? I've been writing a post about the retreat. I think I'll put it up Thursday, when I have more time to comment.
DeleteWhat a wonderful poem, Theresa. I absolutely love it, and I can absolutely identify with it. Thanks so much for sharing this with your readers.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Victoria!
Delete