Sunday, June 21, 2015

Countdown


Countdown
by Theresa Milstein

I turn from the television and glance at the clock.
I have thirty minutes.
One more show.
The TBS channel runs a steady stream of nostalgia: I Dream of Jeanie, Bewitched, Leave it to Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show, The Brady Bunch. All before my time, though technically I watched them in reruns as a kid, so they’re a part of my childhood too. Adults look back at their favorite shows, and long for those better times. But were they really anyone’s good times?
A coffee commercial.
I need coffee.
I’ll grab some on the way.
Yesterday, I went to my English 101 class for nothing. It’s the third time we’ve been stood up. This time the professor collapsed in the parking lot. He’s got emphysema. The old man’s so addicted to cigarettes that he smokes a fake one during class. When doesn’t collapse, that is. Assistant professors get only ten minutes before we’re allowed to leave. Because he’s a full professor, we have to wait twenty minutes to see if he shows up. Thirty minutes to commute plus ten minutes to park and walk, plus twenty minutes to wait, times two equals… a big waste of time. I should quit smoking.
More commercials.
I have twelve minutes. 
What show’s up next?
I won’t get to watch it anyway. This morning I have math lecture. Not that there’s any point in sitting through it. I’ll be lost among the hundreds staring at the small man on stage. The only “help” comes from a recent Chinese immigrant who teaches my recitation. He stares inches from the board while he solves problems and whispers in a thick accent. When we ask him to slow down and speak up, he speeds up. What does he have to be nervous about? I’m the one failing math.
Five minutes.
I’ll sit through these commercials before the next show.
Then I’ll go.
Science is no better than math. On the first day, the old man on the stage told us, “I have tenure. This means I can f*ck a chicken on the stage and they can’t fire me.” I’d like to see him do that. I’d get more out of the class. On that first day, he also told us, “Look at the student to your left. Look at the student to your right. By the end of your freshman year, both of them will be gone.” I thought that seemed like a high dropout rate. But each week there are fewer of us.
I like this Bewitched episode.
Even though the “bad” cousin has brown hair like me.
Bad brunette twin on I Dream of Jeannie too.
At least the History professor’s class is accessible and interesting. Just like English, his class is in a regular room too. He sees our potential.  The first day he said, “This is 13th and 14th grade. It’s your second chance.” He always tells us we can make something of ourselves. While his pep talks are inspiring, in some ways I feel worse. When I applied, I thought the place was a prestigious alternative to a community college. Instead I’m the family black sheep at a former agricultural college. That’s irony, right?
Another commercial.
If I leave now and there’s no traffic, I can still make it.
I pull out a cigarette.
If trouble didn’t show up on Bewitched, Samantha would be bored. Why doesn’t she have a job all those episodes before she has the baby? It’s weird that all the women on these shows are stay-at-home moms. When I was a kid, most of the moms I knew stayed home. Now they’re all divorcing and working at garbage jobs, like my mother. That won’t be me. When my parents’ divorce finally goes through, my dad, sister and I will flee this hellhole. Then I can concentrate on homework without her screaming.
I don’t get why Samantha isn’t allowed to use her powers.
Jeannie isn’t either.
Who wouldn’t perform magic to make their lives better?
In real life, we can’t improve our destinies with a twitch or a blink. Life just keeps moving on and making demands, even if we’re not ready. I’m eighteen, and I already have regrets. In high school, I free time working or hanging with friends without a plan for life afterwards. Now I’m stuck. Most of those friends have gone away to college where they have new friends, new opportunities. I’ve been left behind.
I glance at the clock.
It’s too late to make it now.
One more show.


59 comments:

  1. Its true, we think so much between two shows, mind works so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DEE DEE, I know. Now that there's fast forwarding with DVRs, there's less time to think. :)

      Delete
  2. So many points here. Can identify with some :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anita, I hope everyone can. Sometimes we're our own worst enemies.

      Delete
  3. Well, I typed out a comment and it disappeared so now I'm not sure what I said. ;)
    I remember that bad cousin and like her (of course) and never understood not using magic. To me that's like owning a dishwasher but using a basin outback instead. Rather silly. And the days of commercials was a pain and a joy. At least you knew when to get up and visit the bathroom... now we just sit there endlessly never knowing it's time. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JiRa, I hate when I lose a comment, especially if I've typed a long one!
      In real life, life would be chaos with magic. Stories always make rules, so the magic can never be too fun or able to solve problems. Guess it keeps us reading/watching. As far as the bathroom goes, that's what pause is for!

      Delete
  4. I remember those days! Thank goodness I finally got through! Have a good week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathe W, the next semester at a new school wound up being a lot better for me... I mean, this character.

      Delete
  5. There is always a good excuse.. and whats the purpose anyway.. hmm good I don't watch TV..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brudberg, I watch TV a dinnertime and sometimes a little before bed. I'm too fried for anything else at the end of the day.

      Delete
  6. I never understood why Samantha wasn't allowed to use her powers. Except that it always tended to screw things up. (But that's what's supposed to happen in a sitcom, anyway.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liz A, I once took a course where the professor explained that magic showed women's independence and the men trying to control the magic would control the women's freedom. Since that seems to be what the 1950s and 60s were about until women began protesting for more rights, that kind of makes sense. But, yes, a sitcom does need to have things screwed up too.

      Delete
  7. Magic must be kept secret and nothing can go according to plan. It's in the rules. Samantha should have been a professor. (Oh, and this was fun to read.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maria, hopefully in a few years' time, Samantha went to school and got her degree.

      Delete
  8. I really like the voice in this piece...it's authentic and relatable. This was fun to read.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ah i can feel the angst dripping ...so many choices , so many possible horizons , futures and vistas ...its paralysing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kutamun, it definitely can be. And it can hit us many times in our lives.

      Delete
  10. Those shows take me back. I also remember most of my college professors. Some were easy and some were difficult. I also had one who had some type of lung problem. He was often ten to twenty minutes late. I always wondered why he wouldn't just leave his office earlier. Based on the schedule, he didn't have a class right before us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Medeia, this university definitely wasn't the place for this MC. It's amazing how some professors can change your life and others test your patience. Just like the real world.

      Delete
  11. Brilliant writing and characterization, Theresa! Loved it! At first I actually thought it was one of your own journal entries - it was so *real*! - and about halfway through realized it was fiction. I want to read this book!!! Congratulations, my dear friend, this is good work, indeed. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kimberley, I haven't written this book, but it's nice to know you think it could be one. Makes me think of the possibilities... Thank you!

      Delete
  12. That was super, Theresa! Is it part of something your working on????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharon, thanks. No, I'm not working on it. Just some past and present coming together in a different way. :)

      Delete
  13. One TV show justs drags her along to the next. Great description of procrastination.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rhymeswithbug, thank you. I know procrastination well....

      Delete
  14. I enjoyed reading this, Theresa! I loved Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie when I was a kid. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I also loved Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie. I always wanted to use magic to clean the house so I didn't need to. Interesting piece. I feel the tension, the boredom and the regret of the speaker. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always a pleasure reading your blog, Theresa. And I enjoyed re-reading your short story about the phone call. I left a note there as well. Hope all is well.

      Delete
  16. Nice! Love the stream of consciousness feel of it - and the emotions. Such a vivid portrayal :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I remember watching all those reruns as a kid. Very interesting how you tied it all together in this entertaining read. Well done! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. As Rhymeswithbug said, I like the connection of the character's behavior to procrastination.

    I can remember when our first child was born and I was sent home to mow the lawn (really I was being sent away, anywhere to give mom a rest). I grabbed a sandwich and sat in front of the television--glued to old reruns for like 2 hours before I got to the lawnmower.

    Ha, I guess everyone won with my goofing-off.

    Enjoy your weekend, Theresa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Slamdunk, thanks for sharing your story. That's funny!

      Delete
  19. Loved how you portrayed it. Fun trip down the memory lane. Bewitched used to be my favorite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nas, I loved Bewitched, The Avengers, and The Brady Bunch.

      Delete
  20. Great and interesting piece to read.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just dropping by to say thank you for your essay in IWSG's latest guide to writing and publishing. 30 minutes a day. You made that goal sound accessible. I liked the pov in this story as well, a nice mix of nostalgia and blind spot. Best, Beth
    IWSG #276

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beth, it means so much that my piece helped you. I'm going to refresh my memory about which story was yours! It is such a great, diverse anthology. I'm happy to be a part of it.
      Thanks for your comment here too. I was going for the blind spot.

      Delete
  22. Hope you had a great 4th July weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Theresa, this story is so vivid and makes me think back to my childhood. WOW. The emotions. Thank you for being my friend and for always, always being there for me. I heart you. P.S. I love Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, Andy Griffith and Leave it to Beaver reruns. *wink*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I should've snuck The Avengers in there. That was a great one to watch too.

      Delete
  24. This is great. So vivid, so true to life. I can feel your anomie seeping through the screen. And the dark humor woven in here ("I'm the one failing math") is a pleasure to read. Have you ever done a full-length manuscript? Your pacing and voice are just so on point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much, Searching for the Story. Yes, I've written full length manuscripts. Haven't gotten an agent to represent me yet, but I'm trying!

      Delete
  25. You paint a clear picture! I Felt like I was right there. :)
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
  26. So fun! I love your writing. I remember standing outside the door of classrooms, hoping the teacher wouldn't show up so we could get a free hour! I forgot about the rule that we had to wait longer for professors.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Stephanie, a bonus class off was nice once in a while.

      Delete
  27. Loved it Theresa! You've got great voice.

    ReplyDelete