Saturday, April 20, 2013

We are Boston



Last night, my ten-year-old daughter slept in the bedroom with my husband and me.

She was freaked out.

I didn’t know I was until I woke up in the middle of the night, and the previous five days’ events whipped around my brain.

When 09/11 occurred, I lived in New York. The magnitude of what had happened shocked our nation and the world. I lived an hour away and knew people whose lives had been irrevocably changed as a result.

A month later, I moved to Cambridge, MA.

Eleven years later, I moved to Arlington.

A couple of months ago, I posted an article about how I felt at the time of the move from Cambridge to Arlington http://arlington.patch.com/blog_posts/open-letter-to-cambridge-ma. I learned that, for some, there was a divide between the two places wider than the Charles River.

Monday, two bombs exploded at the Boston Marathon.

I’ve never gone to the marathon. Each year I mean to, but somehow don’t. I wasn’t directly in any danger. I knew someone who raced, who was fine. Later, I found out a woman who died worked not far from my house.

But I felt it profoundly. Boston is my home. Not Cambridge. Not Arlington. I don’t identify just with a street or a neighborhood or even a town. The reason my husband and I moved here is because we’d vacationed around Massachusetts when we were still in college and fell in love with the state. The whole Boston-area is home to me.

I wasn’t alone feeling Bostonian. Yankee Stadium played “Sweet Caroline.” Each time, I think about it, I get chills. Other cities, other people made similar gestures at other stadiums, plastered posters of solidarity on Facebook, set up races to honor Boston’s fallen.

The whole week felt surreal. It was spring break, but there was this unease. The persons who committed the atrocious acts were out there… somewhere. Would they be caught? Would they strike again?

Then Friday morning at 6:15, the events familiar to all of us began to unfold. For the next 16 hours, I was glued to the radio and TV and social media. Even though Arlington wasn’t on lockdown, the towns around us were. I had faith in the Boston Police and every unit of law enforcement on the case.


But other parts of the day were even harder. The picture of the suspect who’d escaped. He looked so earnest. I’ve taught children about the age he was in the photo in Cambridge for years. I’d even subbed at Cambridge Rindge and Latin two of the years he was there. I lived just blocks away from the suspects’ home. I had just PARKED MY CAR right by his house and walked past it on WEDNESDAY. Were either of the suspects in there at the time? What were they doing?

Had I walked the same streets with him at the same time? Had our paths crossed?

Even though the terrorists didn’t affect me directly, I was affected.

He looked no different than the kids I’d taught, the children my kids went to school with, the people I saw in the street. I’ve met the teachers in his elementary school. I can picture the kindergarten classes there.

I’ve seen terrorists on the TV before. It was easy to demonize them. While I know this suspect should and will be punished, I know he was here living with us.

How did he live with us, yet still de-humanize us? How could he plan something so big and horrible?

He was a part of Boston, yet he hurt it.

He hurt us.

More than ever, I am not just a part of my street or neighborhood or town. The Boston Marathon is an international event. Our world is as big or as small as we make it.

If we make our world big, then there is no us vs. them. There’s just us.

No matter where we are, we are Boston.






This appeared on the Arlington Patch: http://arlington.patch.com/blog_posts/we-are-boston

60 comments:

  1. It hits some of us even more than others.
    One caught, the other already put to trial. At least there is closure.

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  2. Alex, as one of my friends on Facebook said, "Let there be peace, comfort, and justice. Justice, not vengeance."

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  3. Exactly! Justice.

    This piece was so eloquently said. I hope you get a huge readership on it.

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    1. Thanks, Shelly. So many have so much to say who were more impacted than me. The Boston Marathon brought out the best in so many. Can you imagine running towards the tragedy? I would hope to be as brave in their situation.

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  4. I loved it pal. There will be justice. We live in a world that craves vengeance. Sad but true. Revenge is NEVER the answer.

    I'm thankful for you and that you are okay. (Christopher kept asking if you were okay.) XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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    1. Robyn, thank Christopher for thinking about me. I appreciate you checking in during this week. xo to you too!

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  5. Oh Theresa! So glad you and your family are ok - what a horror story unfolding. :-(

    I feel so sorry and I pray for all involved. Nothing - not a cause, religion, politics, personal stuff - should drive any human being to commit atrocities upon another fellow human being. And yet it happens over and over and over again all over the world. Non-stop and never-ending. I despair, truly despair. I hope the community pull together and are stronger for having been through such an horrific event.

    Take care
    x

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    1. Old Kitty, two people committed a horrible act, but the number of others who have done heroic deed this week is much, much higher. I try to keep that in mind. There are many heroes in my community.

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  6. Great article. I thought of you while it was going on and hoped you were okay. One of my cousins lived in the town where it happened and it was scary. I agree with Kitty. So sad that we're doing such terrible things to each other.

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    1. Natalie, it is sad. I'm trying to focus on the all the people who have helped during this tragedy.

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  7. Reading this post, I had chills racing up and down my spine Theresa. So true, what you say. Just to think that you parked in front of his house and he may have been inside plotting is so scary.

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    1. Nas, as scary as the thought is, I consider myself so lucky. So many people were put in harms way and too many suffered losses.

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  8. What a tough week. Tragic. But from this we all grow stronger.

    On a different note, why "Sweet Caroline"? I don't understand the significance, so if someone would explain, I'd be ever so grateful.

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    1. Liz, "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond is Boston Red Sox's 7th-Inning Stretch song. Since the Yankees and Red Sox are such big rivals, it was a huge gesture.

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  9. You said it so well. I live in Sydney, Australia--that's the other side of the world! and yet its really hit me hard too. It's all so unfathomable...

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  10. Lynda, I agree. So many bad things happened on Friday--there was an earthquake and the US bombed a location in Afghanistan. But terrorism that occurs in a place that normally doesn't experience it seems especially catastrophic.

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  11. We lived up in the Boston area for 5 years (1995-2000) and we did go to the Boston Marathon and even had a friend run in it a few years ago. I couldn't even imagine something like that happening there.

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    1. Jennifer, you left just before I moved here. I think about it every July 4th--probably because there was such a large police for the July 4th after 09/11.

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  12. Yes, it is a lot to wrap our heads around--much more so if you live there, I'm sure. I too was struck by the photos and the interviews with Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's friends. One of the friends said, "If you told me one of my friends would have done this, I would have guessed about 90% of my friends before I guessed him." It's sad and scary that the older brother wielded so much influence over him.

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    1. Kim, I agree. As a person who has lived community and as a public school employee, I keep wondering how we failed him. People have gotten upset that the media keeps showing his friends in shock. But they're reporting the people's impressions. I'll be curious to see how much was the brother's influence. It seems a big leap from the teen he was in high school and the young man who acted.

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  13. Big *hugs*. I'm so glad they caught them. It was great to see people pouring from the streets, singing.

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    1. Donna, thank you. It was such a relief when they caught him.

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  14. I'm glad you are okay, Theresa. I wish violence would stop breaking out in our country, but it only seems to get worse. I often feel powerless...as if there's nothing I could do to stop it.

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    1. Thanks, Michael. I feel powerless too. But there were so many people who acted brave and good in the crisis, and I use that to hold hope.

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  15. How can the enemy live among us and not feel something? That is a really good question.

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    1. L Diane Wolfe, I had to assume he experience a myriad of emotions and conflict. I just don't know.

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  16. Nice post, Theresa. Painfully honest. We are such little creatures in a great big mystery when things like this happen. We all ask, how, why?? We ask, even while knowing there are no answers. There really aren't any.

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  17. Aloha Theresa,

    All I can say is well said - and I know Boston will recover from this - no doubt in my mind.

    BOSTON STRONG.

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    1. Mark, thank you for your comment. I love the Boston Strong theme. It fits the people who live here.

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  18. Well said. It was a nightmarish week - so hard to believe. How anyone can plan to hurt others like this is incomprehensible. I had several long discussions with my family & students about their feelings over this horror. The people of Boston were amazing as they helped each other through it.

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    1. Jemi, I just talked about it again with my daughter. She focuses on how quickly the police caught him and how well everyone worked together. It's easier to discuss than the incomprehensible part, isn't it?

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  19. My former roommate was in the section of the Pentagon that got hit on 9/11. She was OK, but I'll never forget the conversation we had when I got a hold of her on 9/12. I still think about it and her and how she copes and doesn't. Although, the rest of us move on, those who these things more directly effect don't. At least not so quickly.

    I hope we learn something from this young man that can help prevent future incidents. I'll never understand acts of mass violence, and I suppose that's its scariest aspect.

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  20. M Pax, I'm glad your friend was okay. It must be hard to move on after you're a part of something so awful.

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  21. This is such a strong piece. I read through the comments, too. I'm glad your daughter is communicating and moving forward. This is so hard for adults. For children, it must be much, much worse.

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    1. Carol, my daughter came home from school, disappointed they didn't talk about it there. I think, especially by fifth grade, they would be more comforted by open discussion. I learned the hard way after the gun tragedy in December that she's too old to be shielded from certain events now.

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  22. That was a nightmarish week. I can't imagine being so close to a terror-filled city and my heart goes out to the people in Boston. Looking at pictures of the criminals at the scene, I can't believe some people can be so cruel and calculated.

    I've had former students commit crimes, some serious ones. I can't believe they sat in my class when they seemed to have the world before them.

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    1. Medeia, the first fifth grade teacher I worked with in Cambridge always gave the students a pep talk at the end of the year. I followed her example. Now those kids have graduated high school. Some have chosen good paths. Every once in a while, I hear about a former student who doesn't, and my heart breaks a little.

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  23. Wonderful essay. The explosions, the lockdowns—I never imagined I'd see Faneuil Hall Marketplace completely deserted mid-day. It brought tears to my eyes. The senselessness of this tragedy is overwhelming. What did these young men hope to achieve? I can't begin to understand, and I want to, because until we understand, we aren't going to be able to put a stop to this unconscionable violence.

    The simple truth is, what we believe doesn't matter, it's HOW we believe. It's respecting those who are different from us, not eliminating them or making them suffer.

    I've no doubt Boston will triumph and soldier on, stronger than ever.

    VR Barkowski

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    1. VR Barkowski, you use the perfect word: senseless. Whatever the "cause" is, it doesn't highlight it. It creates more misunderstandings between cultures. We spend so much time teaching students to be respectful of difference. I wish people did that everywhere. I wish it stuck to everyone.

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  24. It was such a terrible week. It hurts to know people out there can do these things...that they have such warped beliefs that killing innocent people to them seems justified.

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    1. Angela, I don't know how people plan and carry through the killing of innocent people in a setting like that.

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  25. AMEN. I couldn't have said it better myself.

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  26. America felt pain for Boston, but I'm sure it was 100 times worse for those like you who breathe Boston. I hope your children feel safe again soon.

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    1. Kelly, thanks for your nice words. This has been a week for funerals. Today is the memorial for Officer Sean Collier in Cambridge. It will take a while to return to some kind of normal.

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  27. What an inspiring and moving post THeresa. I'm just glad there weren't any more people hurt and that they found the suspects soon. sending Boston healing thoughts and prayers.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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    1. Nutschell, I'm sorry for everyone who was hurt and the families who are suffering. But I agree, it could've been so much worse.

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  28. Happening so close to home, it must be so devastating. How do you feel safe again? It amazes me how someone could hate so much! I do love how Boston responded and how the entire U.S. rallied behind them. It's a different world now and we need to band together and support each other.

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    1. Gwen, the funny thing is I do feel safer already. Ever since 09/11, it crosses my mind in a big crowd. But so many people work so hard to keep us safe. I have to have faith. If I had been at the race and witnessed some of the horror or if I lived in Watertown while SWAT teams were combing the neighborhood, maybe I wouldn't.

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  29. "make our world big"

    I love this idea/phrase

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  30. I have no words... but thank you for sharing. The part that you could very likely have crossed paths with this guy... okay, I still have no words.

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    1. Margo, there are so many people I know who knew him or knew the officer. It feels personal. I attended a Red Sox game last night where several first responders received standing ovations. I was moved.

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  31. Hi Theresa .. I've been thinking about you - and really feel for you as a family ... these things strike so heavily emotionally ...

    With many thoughts to you ... but particularly to those affected directly by the bombing ... I did see a young lady with her foot amputated saying she would be ballroom dancing again and she would run the marathon next year - she will give strength and inspiration to others ... talk about gutsy ... you will to a point understand having been so close and around 9/11 and now this ... I hope your daughter can adjust - with your help I'm sure she will. Hilary

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  32. Hilary, that woman humbled me. I feel like I've been walking around in a fog, yet there she is planning to do the things she loves.

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  33. I think everyone is affected when human life is involved where ever the lost takes place.

    It is unfathomable when a human being takes the life of other human beings and has no thought or remorse about it and sleeps at night.

    I can't even imagine that; and when I heard about the one suspect being shot and the younger brother being shot in the throat I was affected by the harm that was done unto them also. Life is sacred regardless of what life it is that is taken.

    The entire situation was very sad. My prayers went out for all the victims and to the brothers that brought about the mayhem.


    Unless a human being has a mental problem I still can't fathom a sain human being harming other human beings. I just can't fathom that. I think pure evil has to be behind it.

    God bless us all!

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    1. Betty, this whole thing was so hard to watch for all of us. Senseless violence. Lives lost. People losing limbs. For what end? And then knowing this fugitive last Friday went to school with people I knew, was so hard to take. Those same people were shocked. Where did it go wrong for him? He wasn't pure evil. It's not so simple. And maybe that's better. If we learn when these people can resort to something like this and dehumanize people, maybe we can intervene before it comes to the act. If it's "pure evil" then there's no hope.

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  34. I go to the marathon every year. Every year except this one (I was visiting a new nephew in NC). I don't often stand at the finish, since we live near the halfway mark--but I used to cheer from heartbreak hill, and I've jumped in once to finish the last two miles with my brother. What I'm not sure people really know about this race is how much of a celebration it is, along every foot of those 26.2 miles. Utter joyous celebration and support for those runners. I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around what was stolen that day.

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  35. Heather, the Marathon is an institution here. But it will be back stronger. We have to make it so. Thanks for sharing.

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