Sunday, July 20, 2014

Bittersweet

Bittersweet


You don a bitter orange peel cloak.

Tangy lemon tingles tart on my tongue.

I scoop the grapefruit quarter sans sugar

And smart at the startling sour.

Acerbic is what you’re offering.


No fruit-shaped confections ladled with fructose

Nor strawberries smothered in unctuous chocolate.

I scour the bland baskets with scorn

While dreaming of syrup-dripped candy.

Bittersweet is what you’re offering.


Sneakin’ down the street for satisfaction.

Praying to Virgin Mary for my sins.

I scoop the saccharine confections.

Savoring that sickeningly sweet thrill.

Anything, but what you’re offering.


And I wait for judgment’s final wrath. 


- Theresa Milstein






51 comments:

  1. What a clever take on this Mag - it set my mouth watering in sympathy. :-)

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    1. Thank you, Jinksy. Glad my magpie did it's job.

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  2. Strong repetition. Anything, but what you're offering...

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  3. There is a bitter sweetness to this I like very much.

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    1. Thanks, Alex. Also, I appreciate you letting me know about Sharknado 2. ;)

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  5. Rather powerfully written; well done.

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  6. sweet is toxic i read somewhere... oh i wish i dint have a sweet tooth myself... its too much selfrestrain!! :)

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  7. Bittersweet indeed. Your described look of scorn hits home--for not finding the sweet reward.

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    1. Slamdunk, if it's not at home, temptations are everywhere....

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  8. Very powerful. Great job! Takes a true talent to pull this prose off well.

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  9. Bitter-sweet goodness. A basket of health.

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  10. I especially like the line "anything but what you're offering", because that one in particular told me a lot about the narrator's relationship with the other person.

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    1. Thanks for the feedback, Neurotic Workaholic. I'm glad that line had the intended impact.

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  11. Bittersweet indeed....a brilliant response to the prompt Theresa!

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  12. Well done! Reading this actually made my mouth water (I guess my brain got the message about the tart and sour flavors). :)
    ~Jess

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  13. I remember my friend from childhood going through Lint and giving up sweets. She never lasted long either, especially when she came to play at my house.

    -Kelly @ www.kellydelvalle.net/poetry

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    1. Kelly, I wonder if my subconscious was thinking about Lent.

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  14. Hi Theresa .. you've taken to these like a magpie to thuggery - well that's what I associate ours with - they kill things! But these poems are great .. well done .. love them ..

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. Thanks so much, Hilary. I look at them almost every week, but I often can't think of a poem or don't have a poem sitting around that fits. The last few times have worked out.

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    2. Hi Theresa .. it was a google image I found, which seemed to fit the bill .. so I added it in .. I'll try and answer your son's Greek blues .. not the next post - but anon ... I need to get to London again! Cheers Hilary

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    3. Thanks for the info, Hilary! If you do A to Z next year, maybe consider a color theme. I found your post so interesting.

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  15. "And I wait for judgment’s final wrath."
    No way, not for that!
    You didn't even steal an apple!!
    Loved the poem and all the analogies it may generate.
    Beautifully done ~ Eddie :)

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    1. Thank you, Eddie! I guess it depends on what we decide is a sin.

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  16. Clever metaphor, and well worked out.

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  17. Goodness, Theresa. Deep thoughts. Deep. I'm not sure I was ready for something so deep today. Pondering...

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    1. Crystal, didn't mean to be so deep. ;)

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    2. LOL. It's good for us. Never apologize for making someone think, eh?

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  18. Beautifully done. Now I'm craving dessert!

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    1. Stephanie, hope you got to eat something sweet!

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  19. I love the word usage here. I could "taste" every citrusy bite! There were times my mouth turned at the thought of the citric acid. Very bittersweet. Well done :) ~ Jen

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  20. Beautiful poem. I hope you find my comment funny, but your reference to the Virgin Mary made me think of all the places where people see either Jesus or the Virgin, i.e., toast, or on a cracker. But the best is a dog's butt http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/13/dog-butt-looks-like-jesus-photo_n_3436086.html Go check out that post.

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    1. Michael, my poem sure took you in a different direction!

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  21. Lots of tang in this one, Theresa! Good job.

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  22. Ooh, you've been posting poems and I've been missing them! Thanks for sharing these, Theresa. Love your imagery.

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