Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Descent

The Descent

One moment’s lapse
Descending
Alone
            Shattering
Wine crimson spilled

Respiration
One rhythm
Cresting
God’s proof a
Wretched life saved

Conduits to
Wash away
Your sins
Gold bronze and
Black as coal dust

Lips cracked desert
Decaying
Wasting
Won’t heal for
What ragged scars

Eyes hold malice
Foreigner
Stranger
Not mine your
Future confined

Secrets shameful
Hands restrained
Escape
The binds when
Mourning calls chill 

Tart utterances
Tasteless
Vicious
The wound you
Left gaped rage raw

One moment’s lapse
Ascending 
Alone
Embraced yet
Mind still adrift

- Theresa Milstein






56 comments:

  1. I really like the stair type form you have taken for your poem... also the two contrasting stanzas first and last are lovely... really enjoyed reading this...

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  2. Yes, the physical form echoed the image and the subject matter very well!

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  3. Yeah the stair trick with the words is really impressive!

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  4. You totally got me with the blog title. Really enjoyed this.

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  5. Your form echoes the words, and I like your contrast of ascending and descending.

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  6. Creative in every way Theresa--from title to sentence construction to message. I am enjoying the poetry.

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    1. Thanks, Slamdunk. I don't have much motivation to look for places to submit these, so they're appearing on my blog instead.

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  7. Great poem and form with the spacing. That staircase is also intriguing.

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    1. Medeia, thanks. I feel like that staircase has a long and interesting history.

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  8. enjoyed....felt every line...like ...very much alive......

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  9. Step by step, into one perfect and delightful mystery, unfolding before us.

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  10. Tumbling sown the stairs , her whole life flashed before her eyes .....

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    1. Kutamun, that's an apt way of looking at it.

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  11. It sounds like an unpleasant descent. I love the way you formatted your stanzas. Awesome.

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  12. I love that coupled with the stairs image. Such a great resonance and I LOVE poems with shape. Very nice.

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  13. Such word architecture very skillfully assembled ~ Eddie

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  14. Breathless...

    You have a gift with verse!

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    1. Thank you, Sharon. Better to post my work up here than let it sit in a document folder, like I usually do.

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  15. I could feel the descent..interesting form..clever..

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    1. Thanks, Truedessa. I enjoyed playing around with the form.

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  16. I especially liked the "eyes hold malice" line; it made it even more vivid. I admire anyone who writes poetry, because it was never something that I was able to write very well.

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    1. Neurotic Workaholic, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm having fun bumbling through.

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  17. The off-set lines really worked with this.

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  18. I enjoyed reading this, my friend. The formatting is GENIUS!!

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    1. Thanks, Robyn! From all the feedback, I think the formatting might be more interesting than the poem.

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  19. Interesting poetry posts. I haven't been around in a while. This is fun to see. Hi, again, Teresa.

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    1. Nice to see you again, Brent! Thanks for visiting.

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  20. Very interesting, Theresa. Love the layout of the words. Lot's of thought-provoking images and feelings. Goes wonderfully with the well-worn carpeted stairs. Thanks for sharing. ~Victoria Marie Lees

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    1. Thank you, Victoria. It's nice to know my words work with the photo.

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  21. Lovely and I like the way you've arranged the words.

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  22. You have a bit of e.e. Cummings in you, Theresa!

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    1. Cleemckenzie, I'll take that as a compliment!

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  23. A very powerful poem. It goes well with the photo and I like the way you layered the words and emotions. Definitely a poem that makes me think.
    ~Jess

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    1. DMS, your comment makes me so happy. Thank you!

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