The Descent
One moment’s lapse
Descending
Alone
Shattering
Wine crimson
spilled
Respiration
One rhythm
Cresting
God’s proof a
Wretched life
saved
Conduits to
Wash away
Your sins
Gold bronze and
Black as coal dust
Lips cracked
desert
Decaying
Wasting
Won’t heal for
What ragged scars
Eyes hold malice
Foreigner
Stranger
Not mine your
Future confined
Secrets shameful
Hands restrained
Escape
The binds when
Mourning calls
chill
Tart utterances
Tasteless
Vicious
The wound you
Left gaped rage
raw
One moment’s lapse
Ascending
Alone
Embraced yet
Mind still adrift
- Theresa Milstein
I read. I enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gail.
DeleteI really like the stair type form you have taken for your poem... also the two contrasting stanzas first and last are lovely... really enjoyed reading this...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Arushi!
DeleteYes, the physical form echoed the image and the subject matter very well!
ReplyDeleteFreywriter, I appreciate your feedback.
DeleteYeah the stair trick with the words is really impressive!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alex!
DeleteExpertly skillful...
ReplyDeleteBerowne, thank you!
DeleteYou totally got me with the blog title. Really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Natalie!
DeleteYour form echoes the words, and I like your contrast of ascending and descending.
ReplyDeleteOther Mary, thank you!
DeleteCreative in every way Theresa--from title to sentence construction to message. I am enjoying the poetry.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Slamdunk. I don't have much motivation to look for places to submit these, so they're appearing on my blog instead.
DeleteGreat poem and form with the spacing. That staircase is also intriguing.
ReplyDeleteMedeia, thanks. I feel like that staircase has a long and interesting history.
Deleteenjoyed....felt every line...like ...very much alive......
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Sreeja.
DeleteStep by step, into one perfect and delightful mystery, unfolding before us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback, Karen S.
DeleteTumbling sown the stairs , her whole life flashed before her eyes .....
ReplyDeleteKutamun, that's an apt way of looking at it.
DeleteIt sounds like an unpleasant descent. I love the way you formatted your stanzas. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Michael!
DeleteI love that coupled with the stairs image. Such a great resonance and I LOVE poems with shape. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteCrystal, thanks for your nice feedback.
DeleteSuch word architecture very skillfully assembled ~ Eddie
ReplyDeleteEddie, thank you very much!
DeleteI like the stair form too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cait!
DeleteBreathless...
ReplyDeleteYou have a gift with verse!
Thank you, Sharon. Better to post my work up here than let it sit in a document folder, like I usually do.
DeleteI could feel the descent..interesting form..clever..
ReplyDeleteThanks, Truedessa. I enjoyed playing around with the form.
DeleteI especially liked the "eyes hold malice" line; it made it even more vivid. I admire anyone who writes poetry, because it was never something that I was able to write very well.
ReplyDeleteNeurotic Workaholic, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm having fun bumbling through.
DeleteThe ups and downs of life!
ReplyDeleteVandana, thanks for stopping by.
DeleteThe off-set lines really worked with this.
ReplyDeleteThanks, J Cosmo!
DeleteI enjoyed reading this, my friend. The formatting is GENIUS!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Robyn! From all the feedback, I think the formatting might be more interesting than the poem.
DeleteInteresting poetry posts. I haven't been around in a while. This is fun to see. Hi, again, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteNice to see you again, Brent! Thanks for visiting.
DeleteVery interesting, Theresa. Love the layout of the words. Lot's of thought-provoking images and feelings. Goes wonderfully with the well-worn carpeted stairs. Thanks for sharing. ~Victoria Marie Lees
ReplyDeleteThank you, Victoria. It's nice to know my words work with the photo.
DeleteLovely and I like the way you've arranged the words.
ReplyDeleteBelva, thank you.
DeleteClever form...nice!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tess!
DeleteYou have a bit of e.e. Cummings in you, Theresa!
ReplyDeleteCleemckenzie, I'll take that as a compliment!
DeleteA very powerful poem. It goes well with the photo and I like the way you layered the words and emotions. Definitely a poem that makes me think.
ReplyDelete~Jess
DMS, your comment makes me so happy. Thank you!
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