Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mad Hot Butterflies


“While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance.”

- Hans Bos


Four years ago, Cambridge Public Schools received a grant for a ballroom dancing program as part of Physical Education. It ran in a handful of schools, one of them being the school I worked at as an assistant. The fifth-graders were mortified at the idea of touching a member of the opposite sex. It didn’t help that the program “Know Your Body” was taught at the same time.

The lead teacher handled it well. To begin, she showed the students the documentary “Mad Hot Ballroom”. This documentary of New York City fifth-graders practicing and performing in a citywide competition makes dancing seem less alien-like. (I highly recommend watching it.) This teacher and I also attended every gym class even though it was her prep period to help out, so the students took it seriously. Each week, the students improved and by the time of the performance, a few of the couples were really good.

I attended the performance. Watching these initially awkward boys and girls behave like ladies and gentlemen, dressed in their finest and treating one another with respect, brought tears to my eyes. They danced The Fox Trot, Swing, Merengue, Tango, Waltz, Rumba, and Salsa. At the end, they group danced to “Electric Slide” and the audience was invited to participate, like a giant wedding. If I had any sort of coordination, I would’ve joined them. I was proud of my students.

The program was so successful the Physical Education Department provided the funding for all of the elementary schools. At the end of the school year, the fifth-grade performed a few of the dances for the entire school. We hoped the fourth-graders would be less intimidated for the following year after witnessing the older kids dance.

As pleasant as the first fifth-grade class had been was as unpleasant as the next group turned out to be. They came in with a bad reputation and did nothing to overcome it. The lead teacher who could turn any lump of coal into a diamond had a tough time with this class. Then she went out on maternity leave and I took over. (Lucky me.) When my students watched the documentary, they made fun of the New York City kids. Even with students being sent to the office during lunch and by any specialist they had, somehow I kept them from being too rowdy in gym, and it came together for the ballroom dancing performance. At least, for those who showed up.

One boy refused to participate. I talked to his grandmother, promising her it would be transformative for him, but she wouldn’t make him do it. He chose writing essays on famous dancers in the office over dancing with girls. And those essays? He didn’t bother doing them, getting an F in his formerly favorite class.


This year, it was my son’s turn to take ballroom dancing. And “Know Your Body”. Tuesday night, the performance was held in the high school gymnasium. My son’s teacher is awesome. Not only did she show the documentary, she demanded they treat each another with respect and even compliment one another. Attendance at the performance was not optional – it was MANDATORY.

Her attitude kept my son from being too apprehensive when the classes began. But more than that, once he started it, he liked it. By a week before the performance, he was looking forward to it. He laid out his outfit, including a tie this past weekend and nagged me to iron everything.

Looking at all of these young men and women, most whom I’ve known since kindergarten, made me emotional. I took tons of pictures and video, and all of us parents gushed about the whole thing.

My son had three different partners throughout the dances. I was amazed over how well he danced and how comfortable he was with his partners. During the Dance Off, MIT dancers acted as judges, who walked around and tapped a winning couple from each school, during the final song, the Merengue. It was clear that my son’s partner was really good, but so was this girl’s best friend and her partner. I could see the judges hovering between these two couples. My son and his partner weren’t chosen.

When the winning couple received their trophies and walked back to their classmates, their fellow students surrounded them and cheered. It wasn’t about competition. They’d done it together and supported one another.

I wish I could post pictures and video to show you the beaming smiles, lovely outfits, and diversity of the students. I wish you could see how nearly all the boys are shorter than nearly all the girls, and how the girls bent down when the boys twirled them. I wish you could see how happy they were to be dancing and how relaxed they were with their partners, even looking into one another’s eyes. I wish you could witness the dramatic flair they put into the Tango. I wish you could see them laugh and have a great time for the three group dances (Electric Slide, Cotton-Eyed Joe, and Cha Cha Slide (a fun Hip Hop song) at the end. I wish you could’ve heard my son’s excitement recapping the night on the way home.

When my son attended kindergarten, his class performed The Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. He was the “beautiful butterfly”. In my daughter’s second-grade class this year, they are observing caterpillars turning into butterflies. Watching those fifth-graders dance, I witnessed the same metamorphoses.

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34 comments:

  1. Oh, that sounds so incredible! I would have LOVED to have something like that when I was in 5th grade. I am so jealous. I wish I could have seen it too. I'll have to see if I can find that video you mentioned. I hope they continue the program. I bet it is a huge boost to the self-esteem of the students who participate!

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  2. Aw, sounds lovely.
    Wish we could bottle those moments.
    Congratulations to your 'beautiful butterfly', learning to dance is a great way to get the girls later in life. We ladies, hate our feet being trod on, he'll never be a feet-crusher now.

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  3. Awwwww how lovely to see your son enjoy and excel in this lovely artform! I love ballroom dancing (well watching - I've got two left feet at the best of times) and it really is a beautiful discipline especially for children once they get over their inhibitions. It's a shame that other fifth grade group couldn't be bothered to participate.

    I hope that some of the individuals in that group get to breakaway from the group mentality and shine as individuals.

    Take care
    x

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  4. Surfie, I wish I'd been exposed to ballroom dancing too. I wasn't allowed to take ballet, and am now the most uncoordinated person EVER.

    I've told my son the last couple of years he'd be able to go to any wedding or dance and be confident.

    Brigid, I agree. My husband and I never had dance lessons so we sort of shuffle along.

    Old Kitty, we're in the same two left-footed boat.

    That fifth-grade was the only one in the school. There were too many discipline problems and they couldn't get away from one another. Now that they're in middle school with an infusion of other kids, it's helped a lot. But I hear many of them still spend a lot of time in the office.

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  5. Loved Mad Hot Ballroom, especially seeing how it transformed the kids so they were more comfortable in their own skin. What a cool thing for your son to get that learning experience.

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  6. What a great story! Thanks for reminding me that it isn't about winning, it's about participating in the winning.

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  7. Laurel, I think every school should do it, but I'm glad they focus on city kids.

    Elana, that's what I tell myself every time I hear of another writer getting an agent or a book deal.

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  8. I've heard of more and more schools teaching ballroom dancing in gym class. What a great idea! And when these kids get to high school, and the formal dances start up, they've actually got a few formal dances learned to show off on the dance floor. Kudos to these schools!

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  9. That's amazing, Theresa! I could just imagine it through your words. You must have been very proud.

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  10. Joanne, you're right. My son will have a much better time at school dances than I did.

    Talli, I was very proud. If it weren't for this opportunity, boys and girls would hardly interact at this age.

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  11. What's all this wishing you could show us this or that?
    You just did! Using your writer's talents! But then.. You knew that. : j

    Thanks for sharing...

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  12. Alesa, I didn't think of it that way. Thanks for reminding me.

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  13. What a great program. And how great that you were part of it!

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  14. What a lovely story! I wish my fifth grader could be that comfortable with himself (not the mention the girls!). However, I think my Kindergartener will be when he gets there - he's already the only boy in his jazz/tap class, and having a blast.

    Thanks for sharing! :)

    p.s. I belong to SCBWI too! Are you going to the 2010 Conf in LA?

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  15. Lydia, it's been nice to see it from the teacher and parent perspective. The second year, my children's school and the school I worked at her in it at the same time. I didn't know where to place my allegiance!

    Susan Kaye Quinn, it's great your younger son is getting exposed to dance.

    I'm not going to SCBWI LA - too far. Are you? I went to the NYC one once. I'm going to the New England one tomorrow.

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  16. I'm going to SCBWI LA for the first time this year (I have family in LA, so it's a combo trip). I'm really excited! I've only been to a regional SCBWI conf before, here in Chicago. What did you think of the NY conf? Good luck with your conf tommorrow! :)

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  17. What an experience for all of those kids!! I would like to say that I wish they would have done something like that for us as kids but I probably would have been nerdy and grossed out at holding a boys hands let alone dancing with them!! LOL

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  18. That is so cool! I wish our school district would do that. I think the kids are only required to dance with a member of the opposite sex one time in grade school, and when my son's class did it I heard about it for days. They think it's such a big deal! This sounds like it was just lovely.

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  19. What an awesome experience for those kids! The teacher did a fabulous job getting them to be so relaxed and confident! :)

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  20. What an interesting program. I'm a dance phobe so I'm sure this would stress me out, even though it's something I wish I could do!

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  21. Susan Kayne Quinn, have a great time at the conference and visiting family! NYC didn't offer as many opportunities to meet with agents + it's in February, so it's cold.

    Jen, I'm sure I would've been mortified too. But by the end, they always turn around, so I guess I would've as well.

    Susan Fields, my son was well-prepared because I'd taken him to see it when he was younger and I talked it up. I'm sure even with all that, it wasn't easy when he began.

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  22. Jemi, she's a great teacher. My son had her in fourth-grade, and then the teacher decided to move up to fifth-grade. We've been lucky!

    Miss V, I hear you! I was such a fool because I sat in on all of the classes, but if I had participated, I probably wouldn't been too bad by now.

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  23. Beautiful post! You must be so proud of your son. :) I wish I could have seen it, I would have enjoyed it.

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  24. Shelley, I made a policy of no names and no pictures with faces when it comes to my kids, but this time it's really hard!

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  25. It sounds amazing! Love the visual with the girls ducking when the boys spun them around.

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  26. Julie, thanks! Most of the boys have to wait until 8th-grade to catch up.

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  27. Sounds like a great experience for them... I'm so glad the school is doing this!

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  28. Lovely story. Its nice to see that Schools are taking initiatives with the documentaries and classes.

    Have a good day...:)

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  29. India Drummond, here and there I've subbed gym and seen other schools in action. It's funny to see how this mishmash works out in the end.

    Mr. Stupid, the schools have set the bar higher by doing this.

    You have a good day too.

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  30. I remember when we did dance stuff in music when I was around that age. Most of us were about as mortified. But I lined up so that when the slow dance came around I was with the person I wanted to be with.

    I'll bet a few of them could be persuaded if they're starting to have those feelings. The person they like can't run away since it's for class.

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  31. Chris, smooth move to situate yourself to slow dance with the girl you liked. I thought my son would do something similar with a girl he'd liked since second-grade, but I think he's over her.

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  32. Wow...I wish we had a program like that here in NC. Sounds like your son's teacher is a real jewel my blogging friend. Thanks for sharing.

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  33. What a wonderful program. Wish my school had such a thing when I was a young girl.

    Very nicely written by the way :)

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  34. VKT, I usually write about the teachers who aren't up to snuff. Luckily, my kids school has a great staff.

    Wendy, it's the perfect age to do it. By seventh-grade it would be a nightmare.

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