"They were huddled together like a family of Ellis Island immigrants just off the Mayflower."
- A Sure Thing by Nicole Polizzi (Snooki)
Are you ever too young to have a story?
No, of course not. Remember Anne Frank’s diary?
Are you ever too young to write a story?
Not if you can grasp a pencil or tap a keyboard.
Are you ever too young to write a memoir?
Not if you’re Justin Bieber.
The Bieber isn’t the first, and it won’t be the last. You’ve got to jump on this bandcarriage!
Now some of you are probably worried you’re not young enough to write a memoir. Not to worry. Check off which if these traits apply to you:
_____ I’m a famous rockstar.
_____ My hairstyle is unique. (See Justin Bieber, Snooki, and Donald Trump for examples.)
_____ I came from a humble hometown and made it big. (Abe Lincoln is an early example of this repeated phenomenon.)
______ I have popular You Tube videos.
______ I failed to pass my driver’s test, but then I received a Range Rover as a gift, so it all kinda worked out.
_____ I have tweets riddled with spelling errors that can be placed verbatim into my book.
_____ I say things like, “There are lots of things I really like besides girls. Like pizza.... And CHUCK NORRIS." (Bieber always capitalizes CHUCK NORRIS.)
If you’ve checked off three or more, then you’re ready to write your memoir. You no longer have to fret that famous people and even dogs are gobbling up all the advances. There’s still BIG $ for someone like you.
Don’t worry about minor details like beginning, middle, and end. You think Bieber not being near “The End” of his life stopped him? He may be the next J.K. Rowling because his memoir has series potential.
You can even ride someone’s coattails. What if your mother was the governor of Alaska and ran for vice president, and then you got to be on a dancing competition show with famous people? MEMOIR!
Spelling and grammar deficiencies are no obstacles when crafting your memoir, mostly because the publishers will hire someone to write it for you. And don’t let little details like “facts” get in the way (See James Frey). What’s more important; a boring memoir or a memorable memoir? I’d argue the “mem” stands for memorable.
Lastly, writing the book isn’t enough. Today it’s all about promotion and branding. Some projects to consider:
A concert tour.
A concert in Time’s Square on New Year’s Eve.
Remember, it’s not about being an author - It’s about being a brand.
In conclusion, if you have a
mostly true story in which really cool things have happened (bonus if you’re already famous) then write your proposal, and wait for editors to clamor for your memoir and hire you a ghostwriter.
Then sit back and wait for those royalties.
Yes, it’s THAT easy.
What are you waiting for?