Sunday, August 17, 2014

Revision

“Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon”
 - Song “Waiting for my Real Life to Begin” by Colin Hay


Revision

I stare at the page—
Daunted.
Hopeless.
My moxie has fled for
Prolific pastures.

What’s the point?
My pencil’s nub
Rubbed down by cliché.
Rejection.
Cracked in half by this
Introspection.

This pen bleeds
Ink ‘til it runs dry.
And rips this
Paper, wrinkled.
I ball it in my fist
Crushing, crinkled.

Laptop keys used to
Flutter under fingers
Like wind chimes.
Music no more.
I’ve lost the melody
Trampled the score.

Well-worn words
Mock me.
Guffaw.
The lighted screen—
Like a moth I am drawn.

- Theresa Milstein



This poem is dedicated to the writers at the Revision Retreat  run by Harold Underdown 

UPDATE: I actually wrote this poem a few weeks ago. My critique experience at the retreat was actually positive, and gave me direction and inspiration + I learned some beneficial revision techniques. 

54 comments:

  1. Fantastic Theresa! I appreciate how you are not violent when faced with such a challenge. I would have to include several choice words and fist pounding on my computer table.

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    1. Slamdunk, I actually wrote this poem a few weeks ago. My critique experience at the retreat was actually positive, and gave me direction and inspiration + I learned some beneficial revision techniques.

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  2. I can so relate to this poem. Yep, I'm definitely a moth, singed a little around the edges ;)

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    1. Lynda, I braced myself for a harsh critique, but it was actually positive and constructive. Today I feel less like a singed moth. Who knows what tomorrow brings?

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  3. Hi Theresa .. I guess so true when revising works that others need to see - I don't do it often - but love the way you've combined your words into this poem .. great to read - cheers Hilary

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    1. Thanks, Hilary! I wrote the poem when I was tackling revision on my own. The retreat put me in a much better frame of mind.

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  4. Oh Theresa!!!! You've expressed so eloquently the utter despair of the blank page/writer's block!! Yay!! :-) Take care
    x

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    1. Thanks, Old Kitty! I hope you've had a wonderful summer.

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  5. Then exile yourself to a farther shore....there is nothing else for it

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  6. Rubbed down by cliché - great line!
    You really made the poem fit for a writer.

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  7. My moxie... Oh how we relate, T. Firstly - hugs. Secondly, feel free to brainstorm with me anything. Um...probably sooner than later. I'm in the same ship as you, now mapping out two projects that I think just need some talking out with another writer. Honestly, anytime. Love this poem! Send it in somewhere.

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    1. SA, I wrote this a few weeks ago. I'm in a better place right now. I saw the Magpie picture prompt, remembered that line from the song, and thought it would fit the poem. Revision isn't easy. If you need to talk, let me know!

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  8. I definitely can sympathize with the message in this poem.

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    1. Michael, hopefully we have few days as bleak as the one in this poem.

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  9. YOU know I'm there. I didn't GET to go to the retreat. *sigh* But I feel better with renting THE you know what. *wink* My favorite part of your poem is the last two lines. We're drawn woman! :-) See ya in Vegas!

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    1. Robyn, I hope you can attend another time. I've got to get to those rentals now that I'm back. See you in Vegas!

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  10. So glad the retreat was beneficial. I remember the poem and still live it.

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    1. Susan, hopefully you have more good writing days than bad. You could use them right about now!

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  11. Beautifully eloquent, and rather moving...

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  12. Wow, that's amazing. And we can ALL relate. Beautifully done.

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  13. I have felt this. Sometimes the magic isn't there when I'm sitting at my desk. There can be a lot of frustration.

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    1. Medeia, I go back and forth about my feelings about writing. When it's good, it've very good....

      My daughter is reading The Bestest Ramadan Ever. She started it last night. Must be captivated because she came down with the book and is reading this morning. Usually she heads right for the iPad in the morning!

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  14. So powerful, Theresa. All writers can identify with the bittersweet experience of revision. The inevitable, stifling quest for perfection that none of us will ever achieve. These days, writing gives me more heartache than revisions, but that's because I worry about revisions even as my laptop keys flutter.

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    1. VR, I originally called this Writer's Block, so clearly it can be for any stage of the game. I need a new title! Good luck with the rough draft.

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  15. Oh, this rings so true. Beautifully written~

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    1. Shelly, you're such a good writer. Hard to believe you go through this! ;)

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  16. Rubbed by cliche... AWESOME! Love and Light, S

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  17. How cool that you learned some new revision techniques and that the retreat was so helpful. I think most writers can relate to this poem! Revisions can be tough. :)

    ~Jess

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  18. Getting to you, huh? You have certainly struck a chord: The lighted screen—
    Like a moth I am drawn.

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    1. Denise, I always have these up and downs. I've been up for a couple of weeks, so I expect the pendulum to swing the other way at any moment.

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  19. LOVE the poem, Theresa. Very nice--and oh my goodness, who hasn't been at that moment? Awesome.

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    1. Crystal, yes, it's a sad fact we have to hit these moments.

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    2. But they're also kind of glorious too, once we overcome them. Can't have the up without the down, eh?

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    3. Exactly. It has to be as if we are the protagonists facing the obstacles!

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  20. I always love your poetry, Theresa - so evocative and moving. I feel this way sometimes when I'm neck-deep in revisions.

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    1. Thank you very much, Julie! I get this way sometimes during revisions or after a specific rejection. The high highs and the low lows of the writing life!

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  21. Really enjoyed your poetry,Theresa. I thought the line about the 'lighted screen' and 'moth' worked particularly well.

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  22. I think we've all been here...nice write!

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  23. Excellent! :) Cheering you on as you dive into your revision. Miss you!

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    1. Miss you too, Debtasticreads. How did so many of us get so close in such a short time? I've been writing a post about the retreat. I think I'll put it up Thursday, when I have more time to comment.

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  24. What a wonderful poem, Theresa. I absolutely love it, and I can absolutely identify with it. Thanks so much for sharing this with your readers.

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